Not that I'm particularly initiated myself, but it did occur to me today as I told people about my awesome weekend, that a lot of people who aren't writers and aren't in the publishing business don't really know how it works, just as there are plenty of lin es of business that I'm clueless about. People who knew I went to the conference this weekend asked me things like, "Do you have an agent?" and "Did you sell your book?"
Well, it doesn't really work that way. So I thought I'd try to give a little idea of how I *think* it all works, from what I've read, learned in classes and workshops or otherwise gleamed from other writers. I am certainly not any sort of expert.
Whether an author has completed a book, developed a proposal (in non-fiction) or a synopsis (fiction) for a book they intend to write, or just has a really good idea they'd like to be paid to write about, the road to traditional publication starts with the dreaded query letter.
The query is a letter you write to an agent or editor describing your book, your credentials, and sometimes a line or two lines about why you're querying that agent (I almost always look extensively at the books an agent has represented, to see if and where mine fits in with their list). In one class I took on writing the query letter, we had to put all of that (book description, credentials, etc) and an excerpt into 250 words or less. It was incredibly difficult. Imagine taking a book that is 250 pages and trying to condense its essence into a paragraph - not easy! Not only that, but it has to be a really interesting, unique, well-written paragraph that conveys your superb command of language, your style, your humor, or whatever it is you want to convey, in this professional letter.
Then you send it off to some agents, who receive sometimes hundreds of these letters a week. And most often, you get rejected. According to Jeff Hermann's Guide to Publishers, Editors and Literary Agents, or at least according to the profiles of agents I looked up in there, when asked what percent of queries they reject, it was almost always 95%. One agent I would love to work with put that figure at 99%. These unsolicited queries, letters that the agents didn't request, are often referred to as the slush pile, and aren't even always read by agents/editors, but sometimes by their assistants. At least that's what I've heard. It does happen, but from everything I've read, it's rare that an agent asks to see more after reading a query from someone they don't know. And then, when you do send in the sample, there's no guarantee they'll love that.
So, the odds aren't good (but are the goods still odd? Hmmm, I sort of hope so), which is one of the reasons that people go to these conferences where they can actually meet agents face to face. Even that is a tricky game, because at least at this conference I went to, we couldn't give them any papers - queries, samples, etc - because if everyone did, their suitcases would weigh five thousand tons on the way home.
So, I feel thrilled that agents asked to see some of my work. I am not sure it ever would have happened without these face to face meetings. I also am fully aware that it's harder to say no to someone in person, and there could be a degree of "just being polite" on the part of the people I met with. It's hard to tell. There was one agent who I felt was definitely, genuinely, even enthusiastically interested, but even so, who's to say how she'll feel after seeing my writing? The other agents were a little more lukewarm, but again, who knows what they'll think once I send them samples? It could go either way, but a face-to-face meeting and a request for any material is a huge step forward for me and I'm still floating on air from the whole experience.
And then, you know, even if an agent does want to represent me, there's still the whole business of that agent in turn finding a publisher to buy it.
It's not an easy business, and I'm well aware of that. But there is always the dream. I was thinking about this at my glorious and glamorous day job working in a kitchen at a YMCA camp, that this what I want to do, what I'e always wanted to do. Writing is what I've always done, and probably what I will always do, whether it gets me anywhere or not. Of course I hope it does, and I will always have that hope. Somehow, through all the years of writing, of writer's block, or rejection letters, of doubt and anxiety and self-loathing (that I think every writer or creative person experiences while pursuing their passion), I grow through it, strengthen as a writer, and then get to some new level, with a new level of doubt and anxiety and self-loathing. Somehow, despite all that, my love for writing only deepens.
I wonder if that last statement applies to life in general, or anything worth loving, that the struggle makes it more meaningful and ends up enriching you in a deeper way. I'm sure it's true in a lot of cases, but taken to the extreme sounds too much like martyrdom. That aside, I definitely want to ponder the whole thought some more.
Currently Listening:
"Josephine" - Tori Amos
Monday, July 30, 2007
A rough sketch of my book - Moonchild: A Memoir of Albinism
I am albino. Albinism is a recessive genetic condition that means my skin and hair are white, and I'm legally blind. After a sheltered and chaotic childhood, during which I worried that my parents would murder me in my sleep, I felt more different on the inside than I am on the outside. I lost (and found) myself in alternative rock music and counted down the days until I could escape to college. I felt eclipsed.
Moonchild: A Memoir of Albinism details my freshman year at college. As I dealt with finding my way around college, I had intense social anxiety. I didn’t know how to talk about albinism with people, so I didn’t. I was at school on a creative writing scholarship, and I had writer’s block as big as the Great Pyramid of Giza. I wasn't even sure if I felt anymore. The eclipse deepened.
Euphoria Morning, a solo album by Chris Cornell, inspired a story idea and touched me on a deep emotional level. Almost spontaneously, I found myself talking to my best college friend about albinism and what it was like growing up in my skin. I came close to talking about my childhood night terrors. When I found out Chris Cornell was going on tour and the closest concert was states away, because I couldn't drive, my desire to attend became a quixotic quest. This adventure lead to other, wilder quests that completely defed the way I grew up and expanded my realm of experience and ability like concentric circles. In each new quest, I explore how my partial blindness and "looking different" pose obstacles and how I overcome them.
It turned out though, that opening back up to music, to feeling, didn’t just mean that I felt like a rock goddess, but also that I felt the murdered child inside. For the last months of school, I struggled with these conflicting feelings and sorted through the fallout of my upbringing. Thus began the real quixotic quest, the inner journey to come to terms with my albinism and my history.
The book is also a vivid visual journey about what the world looks like to someone with impaired vision.
Currently listening:
The Doors - "Riders on the Storm"
Moonchild: A Memoir of Albinism details my freshman year at college. As I dealt with finding my way around college, I had intense social anxiety. I didn’t know how to talk about albinism with people, so I didn’t. I was at school on a creative writing scholarship, and I had writer’s block as big as the Great Pyramid of Giza. I wasn't even sure if I felt anymore. The eclipse deepened.
Euphoria Morning, a solo album by Chris Cornell, inspired a story idea and touched me on a deep emotional level. Almost spontaneously, I found myself talking to my best college friend about albinism and what it was like growing up in my skin. I came close to talking about my childhood night terrors. When I found out Chris Cornell was going on tour and the closest concert was states away, because I couldn't drive, my desire to attend became a quixotic quest. This adventure lead to other, wilder quests that completely defed the way I grew up and expanded my realm of experience and ability like concentric circles. In each new quest, I explore how my partial blindness and "looking different" pose obstacles and how I overcome them.
It turned out though, that opening back up to music, to feeling, didn’t just mean that I felt like a rock goddess, but also that I felt the murdered child inside. For the last months of school, I struggled with these conflicting feelings and sorted through the fallout of my upbringing. Thus began the real quixotic quest, the inner journey to come to terms with my albinism and my history.
The book is also a vivid visual journey about what the world looks like to someone with impaired vision.
Currently listening:
The Doors - "Riders on the Storm"
An Amazingly Awesome Weekend
This past weekend I went to the Pacific Northwest Writers Association (PNWA) conference. It was incredible.
Let's get the one tiny bit of bad news out of the way first. When I got home and checked my email, the first one I had was a rejection email from an agent. Months ago I went to a public reading and read the first chapter of my book, and someone I met there passed my name along to an agent, and so I sent in that same first chapter to that agent, who decided to pass on asking to see more. She wrote me a nice, personal note on my submission though. From what I've heard, it's definitely a good sign to get personalized rejections.
So, on to the conference. I have been to workshops and retreats before, but never to a conference like this, where the focus was more on selling your work. The way they had it set up, everyone got to meet with an editor from a publishing house in small groups. So for a half hour, a group would sit with one editor around a table. For the agents, it was one-on-one for ten minutes. We had to have pitches, 3-5 sentences describing our books, to try to hook their interest.
I have always thought I could write much better than I could talk, so I was nervous, and had been too busy leading up to the conference to have much time to prepare. They had a workshop on practicing your pitch, so I went to that session, met some great people and practiced my pitch. In my hotel room before my editor meeting, I practiced some more and realized I already pretty much had it down, just from writing query letters and working on my proposal.
At the editor meeting there were three of us, and we all went around and gave our pitches. I was last. After I gave mine, the editor looked at me and said, "That was a great pitch." I will never forget it; it totally made my day. She then went around and gave us feedback and concerns with each of ours, mainly about marketability. Because I'd already written a proposal, which had a pretty extensive marketing and promotion section, I knew how to address all her concerns, so I felt really confident and prepared, much more than I expected. In the end she asked for my proposal and said she could then give more feedback. So, I will be sending that out to her. I was psyched!
That night we had an awards dinner for the people who won the PNWA writing contest. I had submitted a synopsis and excerpt of my book but didn't win. Somehow though, I ended up sitting next to someone who read my submission. She knew it was me because in the material I sent in, I wrote about being albino so I guess that made me pretty identifiable. So she started telling me how much she liked what she read. She said she loved the way I wrote about music. It floored me that she even remembered my work enough to have that sort of detail in mind. She asked me if I'd be meeting with agents and I said yes and she told me something like she couldn't imagine me not getting taken on by one of them. I was thrilled. I felt like my whole weekend was just charmed, and hoped it would last.
The next day, Saturday, was the big agent day. I had three appointments. For each one, they had all of us stand in a hallway and came to get us as each agent became available. I was so nervous I thought I might throw up. I kept thinking that this must be how people feel before an audition. Time went soooo slowly until it was finally time for me to go meet my first agent. They were all seated at individual booths with tables and chairs in each one. So, we shook hands, said hi and she asked about my book and I delivered my pitch. She asked me questions about my writing background, asked if I'd gone to writing workshops, and asked more about my project. At the end of the meeting, she gave me her personal email address and told me that she was okay if I submmitted to other agents, but my book was something she was really interested in. I'm supposed to email her when I'm totally done revising, and she said at that point she'll either ask for the full manuscript in hard copy, or to see the first hundred pages.
I couldn't imagine it going better than that. I mean, it went so well I was almost numb to how elated I felt. A part of me couldn't believe it, but another part of me totally did. I've worked so long on this project and I have been writing my whole life, and so hopefully this is some sort of natural progression. I had a few moments during the conference of almost tearing up, because in about two months it'll be four years since I first started this project, four years since I sat down one day and said, I'm really going to do it, I'm going to write my story, and after years of not writing much, wrote about first leaving for college. The next day I walked into the library and saw they were offering a class on memoir writing, and went from there. It felt almost surreal that I'd gone from that first step to being at this kind of conference.
I met with two more agents in the afternoon, and both asked to see the first fifty pages of my work. They said that with memoir, so much is about the writing, not just the story. I agree, and I usually think (hope?) that the writing improves my chances of hooking someone. In general, the most positive responses I've gotten are from people who've read my work, more than those who've heard the idea.
Oh I also pitched to one agent in the hallway, and she asked to see my proposal. I don't think she traditionally handles memoir, in fact she said she's never been pitched for a book quite like mine before, but hey, she asked to see the proposal so I'll send it on.
So, who knows what'll eventually come of any of this, but I'm going to bust my ass finishing my revisions, getting my proposal as perfect as I can make it, and send off what the agents requested. In the mean time, I'm going to write thank-you notes to each who took the time to meet with me.
I also ran into someone who used to work with the woman who taught that memoir class I started taking four years ago. He owned a magazine that my memoir teacher wrote for, and apparently she told him about me because he approached me (again knowing who I was not by name, but because I'm albino) and told me how much she had talked up my work and how she'd told him I was such a great writer, and so on. I couldn't believe how these amazing things kept happening!
One of the best things about the conference was that there was an atmosphere of comraderie among the writers. I was amazed at the lack of competition. It was like, no matter what our level, we were all in the same boat together and everyone was so friendly. I met some great people, that's for sure. Even one of the agents I talked to remarked how great and uncompetitive the atmosphere was. One of the people I hung out with most at the conference, Janna is also writing memoir, and we loved each other's pitches and shared all of our agent tips, and she's the one who introduced me to the agent I talked to in the hallway. The workshops were also excellent.
So, all in all, the weekend felt like a huge success!
Currently listening to:
Fiona Apple - "Slow Like Honey"
Let's get the one tiny bit of bad news out of the way first. When I got home and checked my email, the first one I had was a rejection email from an agent. Months ago I went to a public reading and read the first chapter of my book, and someone I met there passed my name along to an agent, and so I sent in that same first chapter to that agent, who decided to pass on asking to see more. She wrote me a nice, personal note on my submission though. From what I've heard, it's definitely a good sign to get personalized rejections.
So, on to the conference. I have been to workshops and retreats before, but never to a conference like this, where the focus was more on selling your work. The way they had it set up, everyone got to meet with an editor from a publishing house in small groups. So for a half hour, a group would sit with one editor around a table. For the agents, it was one-on-one for ten minutes. We had to have pitches, 3-5 sentences describing our books, to try to hook their interest.
I have always thought I could write much better than I could talk, so I was nervous, and had been too busy leading up to the conference to have much time to prepare. They had a workshop on practicing your pitch, so I went to that session, met some great people and practiced my pitch. In my hotel room before my editor meeting, I practiced some more and realized I already pretty much had it down, just from writing query letters and working on my proposal.
At the editor meeting there were three of us, and we all went around and gave our pitches. I was last. After I gave mine, the editor looked at me and said, "That was a great pitch." I will never forget it; it totally made my day. She then went around and gave us feedback and concerns with each of ours, mainly about marketability. Because I'd already written a proposal, which had a pretty extensive marketing and promotion section, I knew how to address all her concerns, so I felt really confident and prepared, much more than I expected. In the end she asked for my proposal and said she could then give more feedback. So, I will be sending that out to her. I was psyched!
That night we had an awards dinner for the people who won the PNWA writing contest. I had submitted a synopsis and excerpt of my book but didn't win. Somehow though, I ended up sitting next to someone who read my submission. She knew it was me because in the material I sent in, I wrote about being albino so I guess that made me pretty identifiable. So she started telling me how much she liked what she read. She said she loved the way I wrote about music. It floored me that she even remembered my work enough to have that sort of detail in mind. She asked me if I'd be meeting with agents and I said yes and she told me something like she couldn't imagine me not getting taken on by one of them. I was thrilled. I felt like my whole weekend was just charmed, and hoped it would last.
The next day, Saturday, was the big agent day. I had three appointments. For each one, they had all of us stand in a hallway and came to get us as each agent became available. I was so nervous I thought I might throw up. I kept thinking that this must be how people feel before an audition. Time went soooo slowly until it was finally time for me to go meet my first agent. They were all seated at individual booths with tables and chairs in each one. So, we shook hands, said hi and she asked about my book and I delivered my pitch. She asked me questions about my writing background, asked if I'd gone to writing workshops, and asked more about my project. At the end of the meeting, she gave me her personal email address and told me that she was okay if I submmitted to other agents, but my book was something she was really interested in. I'm supposed to email her when I'm totally done revising, and she said at that point she'll either ask for the full manuscript in hard copy, or to see the first hundred pages.
I couldn't imagine it going better than that. I mean, it went so well I was almost numb to how elated I felt. A part of me couldn't believe it, but another part of me totally did. I've worked so long on this project and I have been writing my whole life, and so hopefully this is some sort of natural progression. I had a few moments during the conference of almost tearing up, because in about two months it'll be four years since I first started this project, four years since I sat down one day and said, I'm really going to do it, I'm going to write my story, and after years of not writing much, wrote about first leaving for college. The next day I walked into the library and saw they were offering a class on memoir writing, and went from there. It felt almost surreal that I'd gone from that first step to being at this kind of conference.
I met with two more agents in the afternoon, and both asked to see the first fifty pages of my work. They said that with memoir, so much is about the writing, not just the story. I agree, and I usually think (hope?) that the writing improves my chances of hooking someone. In general, the most positive responses I've gotten are from people who've read my work, more than those who've heard the idea.
Oh I also pitched to one agent in the hallway, and she asked to see my proposal. I don't think she traditionally handles memoir, in fact she said she's never been pitched for a book quite like mine before, but hey, she asked to see the proposal so I'll send it on.
So, who knows what'll eventually come of any of this, but I'm going to bust my ass finishing my revisions, getting my proposal as perfect as I can make it, and send off what the agents requested. In the mean time, I'm going to write thank-you notes to each who took the time to meet with me.
I also ran into someone who used to work with the woman who taught that memoir class I started taking four years ago. He owned a magazine that my memoir teacher wrote for, and apparently she told him about me because he approached me (again knowing who I was not by name, but because I'm albino) and told me how much she had talked up my work and how she'd told him I was such a great writer, and so on. I couldn't believe how these amazing things kept happening!
One of the best things about the conference was that there was an atmosphere of comraderie among the writers. I was amazed at the lack of competition. It was like, no matter what our level, we were all in the same boat together and everyone was so friendly. I met some great people, that's for sure. Even one of the agents I talked to remarked how great and uncompetitive the atmosphere was. One of the people I hung out with most at the conference, Janna is also writing memoir, and we loved each other's pitches and shared all of our agent tips, and she's the one who introduced me to the agent I talked to in the hallway. The workshops were also excellent.
So, all in all, the weekend felt like a huge success!
Currently listening to:
Fiona Apple - "Slow Like Honey"
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