Bodhgaya - and my turn to post on the group blog

Time is of the essence, so here is the link to what I just posted on the group blog. I am sure I will have more later!

India Group Blog Post

Headed to Kolkata/Calcutta tonight.

As for music, I got to borrow one of the trip leaders' iPods the last few days adn heard SO many songs I"ve been craving, including "Colors" mentioned in an earlier blog, some of my fave Jeff Buckley songs, "Svave ME" by Jem, "Sesaons" by Chris COnrell and "All NIght THing" by Temple of the DOg, some Pearl Jam, AIC and a bunch more, so not craving anything right now. Though I do really wish I could hear Damien RIce. And more Tool.

WIlla & Ben's post on India Group Blog

India Group Blog

A Few Random THings Before Leaving Varanasi

I had my shoes stolen outside a temple this morning. We were only there such a short while, and some of the guys in our group were joking about shoes getting stolen before we went in. I guess it's just something I've got to roll with, but it's definitely disappointing. They were great shoes, totally equipped for our Himalayan trek, waterproof and sturdy, and I'm feeling a little naked without them, but what can ya do?

We also saw an elephant walking through a street today, which almost made it all worthwhile. It was pretty cool to see.

I also feel like being here is going to help me be more assertive in life in general, b/c i feel like I have to be, with just about everythying. It should also help me learn to say no in a clear, strong way, b/c I constantly have to. Everywhere we go, there are people asking us to buy postcards or candles, or give them money, or go this place or that place, and on and on. And with things like crossing th e street, now that I"m going around on my own a few time s a day, you just have to be aggressive and there is no two ways about it, or you would just never cross the street ever. It's not something I'm confortable with, but again, part of being here on this trip is pushing my comfort zone, and learning, growing stretching, and I think it's great that part of an aspect of this journey might be me exercising assertiveness and boundaries.

There was a huge festival in honor of Shiva last night, and we had to stay in our guest house. Everyone from our local host to people at the local chai stand were telling us how dangerous it was, expecially for women. So we stayed in, and traveled as a group when we went to dinner.

Tomorrow morning, we are leaving for Bodhgaya, birthplace of BUddhism. We think we'll be staying at a temple, but not sure yet. We learned a bit about the place yesterday, and it is in the poorest state in India, where apparently there is a presence of leprosy. Oh and it is also a communist state. I wish I knew a lot more about the politics of India and hope to learn more as we go along our journey.

Another interesting note on the subject of politics is that our squatting toilets got clogged yesterday (our group used too much toilet paper for what those toilets can handle), and the people they had come and fix it were untouchables. I am pretty sure the caste system was outlawed awhile ago, maybe mid=century, but like a lot of inequal things in society with long histories of prejudice, it still exists.

TOday I got a book of Arundhati Roy's political writings, which should help me wise up a little bit . TO get credit for this trip I will have to write a few papers, so I'm hopin gto soak up all I can. I'm also wanting to take in as much as I can about eastern philosophyies and viewpoints. There is no end to what I want to learn in this life, let me tell you!

After Bodhgaya, we're headed on to Calcutta, which is the place I'm the most nervous about, but also the place I expect might be the most rewarding. There we will be volunteering at an orphanage, the Mother Theresa Home for the Destitute. It will be an journey, I'm sure.

All right, peace out.

Song I really wish I could hear right now:
"Colors" - Amos Lee

NY Times Article - pretty wild idea

Passing on another article from the leaders, this one is from the NY TImes....

India Climate Solutions

Wild and Crazy Ideas - NY Times Article

So I am attending the Energy and Resources Institute climate conference in New Delhi, and during the afternoon session two young American women — along with one of their mothers — proposition me.

“Hey, Mr. Friedman,” they say, “would you like to take a little spin around New Delhi in our car?”

Oh, I say, I’ve heard that line before. Ah, they say, but you haven’t seen this car before. It’s a plug-in electric car that is also powered by rooftop solar panels — and the two young women, recent Yale grads, had just driven it all over India in a “climate caravan” to highlight the solutions to global warming being developed by Indian companies, communities, campuses and innovators, as well as to inspire others to take action.

They ask me if I want to drive, but I have visions of being stopped by the cops and ending up in a New Delhi jail. Not to worry, they tell me. Indian cops have been stopping them all across India. First, they ask to see driver’s licenses, then they inquire about how the green car’s solar roof manages to provide 10 percent of its mileage — and then they try to buy the car.

We head off down Panchsheel Marg, one of New Delhi’s main streets. The ladies want to show me something. The U.S. Embassy and the Chinese Embassy are both located on Panchsheel, directly across from each other. They asked me to check out the rooftops of each embassy. What do I notice? Let’s see .... The U.S. Embassy’s roof is loaded with antennae and listening gear. The Chinese Embassy’s roof is loaded with ... new Chinese-made solar hot-water heaters.

You couldn’t make this up.

But trying to do something about it was just one of many reasons my hosts, Caroline Howe, 23, a mechanical engineer on leave from the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies, and Alexis Ringwald, a Fulbright scholar in India and now a solar entrepreneur, joined with Kartikeya Singh, who was starting the Indian Youth Climate Network, or IYCN, to connect young climate leaders in India, a country coming under increasing global pressure to manage its carbon footprint.

“India is full of climate innovators, so spread out across this huge country that many people don’t get to see that these solutions are working right now,” said Howe. “We wanted to find a way to bring people together around existing solutions to inspire more action and more innovation. There’s no time left to just talk about the problem.”

Howe and Ringwald thought the best way to do that might be a climate solutions road tour, using modified electric cars from India’s Reva Electric Car Company, whose C.E.O. Ringwald knew. They persuaded him to donate three of his cars and to retrofit them with longer-life batteries that could travel 90 miles on a single six-hour charge — and to lay on a solar roof that would extend them farther.

Between Jan. 1 and Feb. 5, they drove the cars on a 2,100-mile trip from Chennai to New Delhi, stopping in 15 cities and dozens of villages, training Indian students to start their own climate action programs and filming 20 videos of India’s top home-grown energy innovations. They also brought along a solar-powered band, plus a luggage truck that ran on plant oil extracted from jatropha and pongamia, plants locally grown on wasteland. A Bollywood dance group joined at different stops and a Czech who learned about their trip on YouTube hopped on with his truck that ran on vegetable-oil waste.

Deepa Gupta, 21, a co-founder of IYCN, told The Hindustan Times that the trip opened her eyes to just how many indigenous energy solutions were budding in India — “like organic farming in Andhra Pradesh, or using neem and garlic as pesticides, or the kind of recycling in slums, such as Dharavi. We saw things already in place, like the Gadhia solar plant in Valsad, Gujarat, where steam is used for cooking and you can feed almost 50,000 people in one go.” (See: www.indiaclimatesolutions.com.)

At Rajpipla, in Gujarat, when they stopped at a local prince’s palace to recharge their cars, they discovered that his business was cultivating worms and selling them as eco-friendly alternatives to chemical fertilizers.

I met Howe and Ringwald after a tiring day, but I have to admit that as soon as they started telling me their story it really made me smile. After a year of watching adults engage in devastating recklessness in the financial markets and depressing fecklessness in the global climate talks, it’s refreshing to know that the world keeps minting idealistic young people who are not waiting for governments to act, but are starting their own projects and driving innovation.
“Why did this tour happen?” asked Ringwald. “Why this mad, insane plan to travel across India in a caravan of solar electric cars and jatropha trucks with solar music, art, dance and a potent message for climate solutions? Well ... the world needs crazy ideas to change things, because the conventional way of thinking is not working anymore.”

Al GOre Editorial

Our group leaders have been spamming us with India related articles, and I thought I'd pass them along for reader enjoyment and interest.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Editorial/COMMENT--Lets-Go-Green/articleshow/4162513.cms>Al Gore Editorial

Economic stimulus is the order of the day. This is as it must be, as governments around the world struggle to jump-start the global economy. But
even as leaders address the immediate need to stimulate the economy, so too must they act jointly to ensure that the new de facto economic model being developed is sustainable for the planet and our future on it.

What we need is both stimulus and long-term investments that accomplish two objectives simultaneously with one global economic policy response a policy that addresses our urgent and immediate economic and social needs and that launches a new green global economy. In short, we need to make 'growing green' our mantra.

First, a synchronised global recession requires a synchronised global response. We need stimulus and intense coordination of economic policy among all main economies. We must avoid the beggar-thy-neighbour policies that contributed to the Great Depression. Coordination is also vital for reducing financial volatility, runs on currencies and rampant inflation as well as for instilling consumer and investor confidence. In Washington last November, G20 leaders expressed their determination to enhance cooperation and work together to restore global growth and achieve needed reforms in the world's financial systems. This needs to happen urgently.

Stimulus is intended to jump-start the economy, but if properly conceived and executed it can also launch us on a new, low-carbon path to green growth. Some $2,250 billion of stimulus has already been announced by 34 nations. This stimulus, along with new initiatives by other countries, must help catapult the world economy into the 21st century, not perpetuate the dying industries and bad habits of yesteryear. Indeed, continuing to pour trillions of dollars into carbon-based infrastructure and fossil-fuel subsidies would be like investing in subprime real estate all over again.

Eliminating the $300 billion in annual global fossil fuel subsidies would reduce greenhouse gas emissions by as much as 6 per cent and would add to global gross domestic product. Developing renewable energy will help where we need it most. Already, developing economies account for 40 per cent of existing global renewable resources as well as 70 per cent of solar water heating capacity.

Leaders everywhere, notably in the US and China, are realising that green is not an option but a necessity for recharging their economies and creating jobs. Globally, with 2.3 million people employed in the renewable energy sector, there are already more jobs there than directly in the oil and gas industries. In the US, there are now more jobs in the wind industry than in the entire coal industry. President Barack Obama's and China's stimulus packages are a critical step in the right direction and their green components must be followed through urgently. We urge all governments to expand green stimulus elements, including energy efficiency, renewables, mass transit, new smart electricity grids and reforestation, and to coordinate their efforts for rapid results.

Second, we need 'pro-poor' policies now. In much of the developing world, governments do not have the option to borrow or print money to cushion the devastating economic blows. Therefore, governments in industrialised countries must reach beyond their borders and invest immediately in those cost-effective programmes that boost the productivity of the poorest. Last year, food riots and unrest swept more than 30 countries. Ominously, this was even before September's financial implosion, which sparked the global recession that has driven a further 100 million people deeper into poverty. We must act now to prevent further suffering and potential widespread political instability.

This means increasing overseas development assistance this year. It means strengthening social safety nets. It means investing in agriculture in developing countries by getting seeds, tools, sustainable agricultural practices and credit to smallholder farmers so they can produce more food and get it to local and regional markets. Pro-poor policy also means increasing investments in better land use, water conservation and drought-resistant crops to help farmers adapt to a changing climate, which if not addressed could usher in chronic hunger and malnutrition across large swathes of the developing world.

Third, we need a robust climate deal in Copenhagen in December. Not next year. This year. The climate negotiations must be dramatically accelerated and given attention at the highest levels, starting today. A successful deal in Copenhagen offers the most potent global stimulus package possible. With a new climate framework in hand, business and governments will finally have the carbon price signal businesses have been clamouring for, one that can unleash a wave of innovation and investment in clean energy. Copenhagen will provide the green light for green growth. This is the basis for a truly sustainable economic recovery that will benefit us and our children's children for decades to come.

For millions of people from Detroit to Delhi these are the worst of times. Families have lost jobs, homes, health care and even the prospect of their next meal. With so much at stake, governments must be strategic in their choices. We must not let the urgent undermine the essential. Investing in the green economy is not an optional expense. It is a smart investment for a more equitable, prosperous future.

Ban Ki-moon is UN secretary-general; Al Gore is a former US vice-president.

On the Other Side of the Ganga

This post will probably be a bit shorter than usual, but there isn't too terribly much to report, I don't suppose. Got another ravaging of bug bites, grrr, and feeling a little ru n down, but overall, no complaints.

Of course after writing the last blog I thought of things I forgot to mention, like that I took a bike rickshaw ride with one of my leaders the other day, which is a lot rougher than the auto rickshaw, but cool to experience. I also wanted to say there is almost no waste system here whatsoever. I mean there is garbage all over the streets, and it gets swept up every day, and I am not even sure where it goes after that, pretty sure everything goes into the Ganga, I know the sewage does. Also, the power goes out a few times a day, like clockwork, it's scheduled, I think if I understood correctly, it has to do with the city not being able to pay for full electricity, something like that. So it goes off for a few hours in midday, and a few hours in the evening, and there might be another time or too.

Also, as Storyteller mentioned in a comment, Varanasi (also called Banaras) is the place of the funeral pyres and the dead. They say it's the city of Shiva, and apparently it's really holy to die here, you get immediate release from the cycles of life and death and rebirth. And awhile down the ghats, that is where they cremate the bodies.

So, classes are going well. I feel like I'm rocking Hindi class, though this morning I was sooo tired. I had my last singing and dance classes, and got to learn one full composition of kattak dance (though I'm still pretty rusty at it) and it feels good to have a full, sort of complex thing as dance that I can do. I also got to do lots of singing exercises and then learned a full song, a prayer to Saraswati, the goddess of music. It's all in Sanskrit, so I don't really exactly know what it means, but Goba, my singing teacher, gave the gist.

Yesterday morning, we took a boat ride on the Ganga at sunrise, which was awesome. We learned a bit about the history of the city, and about some of the places and temples along the ghats. We also went into a mosque and a Hindi temple before going back on the boat. Riding back, I was in a sort of meditative trance almost, really overwhelmed, in a good way, like, wow, I'm in Asia, in India, it feels so surreal sometimes. I also started thinking abouti what first made me want to go to India, many years ago, and it's slightly embarrassing I guess, but it was Christopher Pike's Last Vampire series, which was great. I read the six book series twice as a teenager, and each time it felt like going on a spiritual journey of sorts. There is a lot of Hindu mythology in the books, and that's what first got me th inking about India, Indian philosophy and art and culture and history. THat was like, fifteen years ago or something. ANd I remember in my freshman year of college, I was thinking about trying to do this winter break trip to India the next year, and talked w/some friends about it. Remembering that makes me really miss my firend Ted who I only knew a short while, who was very dear to my heart and such a great friend, who I miss a lot. He was helping me thinking up ideas on how to fundraise. But then I decided to transfer and so it never happened. I also thought about how in my senior year of high school I wrote my term paper on Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha (which was ten years ago at this point, and I really wish I still ahd that paper somehow, to at least read and reflect on ten years later) and how our next stop is Bodhgaya, which is the supposed place where SIddhartha Ghutama became enlightened. So I was just sort of overcome, thinking about, in a way, how freakin' long in the making this has been for me. And it's just amazing that I am actually here in India, i mean it's hard to wrap my mind around.

Today we had another boat ride after Hindi class, to the other side of the river, where we had a picnic, (and where tehy informed us that all the dogs over on that side are rabid). Our food was prepared for us in the traditional way, aka, cooked on a cow dung fire. THe food was really great, and we ate it out of clay pots (that were not fully baked) and leaf plates and ate with our hands. While we waited for the food, we mostly hung out and chilled and listened to iPods. ONly a few in our group have them in India (I left mine in SF) and so a lot of times we'll share, one person with one earbud, and one person with another. TOday I got to hear some songs that made me think of older times, and in some cases, way older times. It's kind of nice to have that every now and then, the familiar music. I would say I miss that more than anything, non-person-related that is. I miss music. And last night I got to hear some TOOL briefly, the "watch ther weather change" song.

It's to the point where I do really feel like I"m getting used to it here, where I can tell that when I return to America, it's going to feel really weird to me, and probably so quiet it's uncomfortable. It will be weird to not see animals everywhere, people everywhere, color everywhere. Roads with rules will seem strange, but I think most of all, americans will seem strange (no offense!) Here I feel like I see people from all over the world all the time, and the Indian people are very welcoming, in a way that is really different from the states.

Of course there are the ones that are too welcoming. Most of the girls in our group have had at least one unusual and unwanted encounter with the local dudes, nothing major or anything, but still, it's noticeable. We had a women's asfety pow-wow last night. One of our group members has a lot of training in that area and is also going to share her skills. Sometimes it feels like every night is a slumber party.

At this point in Varanasi there are some definite favorite places to eat. One is this organic cafe, called the Aum Cafe, with awesome herbal tea mixes (I often pick the Journey to Aum tea, which supposedly connects the heart to the third eye) and just excellent food. Sometimes I go there by myself and write and listen to conversations and try to understand Hindi, and just enjoy the vibe. ANother place is this mediterranean restaurant which is just so cool. I will have to get some pictures. The benches are almost like beds, they're semi low to the ground, and actually one day we went there really early hoping for breakfast and all the people who work there were sleeping on the seats/beds. THey have chessboards there and great food. The owner is this really cool guy who was a bodybuilder and was Mr. Jordan (as in the country) seven times! He told us he used to eat 35 eggs everyday! That place also has a great vibe, and that is where we sometimes get hookah.

Everything is really cheap here compared to in AMerica. THe exchange rate for rupees is good right now, and things are just really inexpensive. Basically we all eat on about $7 a day, which is included in the price of the trip, I have barely spent any money at all, which is good, but also does definitely make you think about poverty, and the relativity of money. Oh, another interesting fact, the ATM machines here spit out counterfeit rupee notes. We had a little lesson in how to tell the difference last night, and we looked at our per diem's and many of them were counterfeits, but no one seems to notice or care, I mean we have probably been paying with a mix of real and counterfiet the whole time. And people are really laid back. This morning for breakfast, I went to pay with a bill that was too big fro the guy to break and he said, just pay tomorrow. A lot of places are like that. There are no reciepts or at least I haven't gotten one, and it seems a lot is done by hand.

Anyway, we have a few more days here in Varanasi, and then on Tuesday morning I think, we leave for Bodhgaya, the birthplace of Buddhism. And after that, Calcutta, which I have to say is the part of the trip that makes me the most nervous, hands down, but ya know, I feel like once I get through that, it'll be golden, and in some ways easier. This really is a constant learning and growing experience.

It's funny how certain issues will surface. Like yesterday in Hindi class, the teacher gave me a compliment or two, and I felt like I was doing well, and then I felt really guilty about it, like to the point of wanting to pretend not to know stuff, or just not answering b/c I felt bad adn just so didn't want to stand out. Well part of me totally did, but it was like there was this whole undercurrent that didn't. And all this stuff came up for me, like it triggered a lot of stuff from the past, like sorts of things I didn't even have any awareness of until that point, about issues I had around being smart, or standing out in class, I mean there was SO much there under the surface on that topic, and it was rich territory to explore, and something I feel is worth trying to work through before going to Reed, so I can just be ON academically and not battling some old inner demons. It's funny b/c I've been giving a lot of thought to the topic of why when I was younger I didn't really push myself academically nearly as much as I could have, and some of it was laziness, but I also realizeed there was way more going on under the surface of that. SO, good to have some clarity. I mean I just took the experience, went to the AUm Cafe and journalled for awhile, and I felt like I really saw how certain older experiences and patterns had shaped my life, in a subconscious but powerful way, and created patterns that I do not want to continue while in school, like feeling guilty that school comes super easily to me - that is NOT something I want to be operating under when I return to college. No way in hell. So I'm glad I could see it and I'm sure there's more there. I feel this is a bit vague, and I could go into it more later, but I'm about to go.

So yeah, the learning never stops, and I'm glad. THat's part of why I'm here, to further develop as a person, to grow, to ch allenge myself, to have courage. We each had to pick a sticker of a deity our second day here, sort of tarot card style, like they were all facedown, and I closed my eyes while picking, and used my left hand, and I picked Durga (Hey Tam, I hope I'm not dopplegangering your namesake here) and we had to research our deities, and I feel like mine is the perfect one I could have gotten for this trip, and I will say more on that later too.

I also realized that there is a bit of a spiritual journey that I am on, not to find clarity or anything like that, I feel like I'm not seeking answers, I'm seeking a process of letting go, which sounds way more new agey than I mean it. I don't really want to say more b/c it's super personal, but it's sort of similar to something I did several years ago, that involved water. Or it did the first time, and might not this time.

Okay, gotta go.

Song in head:
A song by Dido, I actually don't know the name, though I think it's "Hunter." I hadn't heard it in ages, but my girl Willa ROse had it on her iPod when we were sharing earlier today. I've always loved it. I wasn't huage into Dido, but I always really loved this song. ANd it sort of fits this trip in a way too.

With one light on
In one room
I know you're up
When I get home
With one small step
Upon the stair
I know your look
When I get there

If you were a king
Up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let me go
For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go...

The unread book
And painful look
The TV's on
The sound is down
With one long pause
Then you begin
Oh look what
The cat's brought in

If you were a king
Up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let me go
For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
Let me leave

For the crown you've placed upon my head
Feels too heavy now
And I don't know what to say to you
But I'll smile anyhow
And all the time I'm thinking
Thinking...

I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go

Read Graham's post on the India Group Blog!

Graham, one of the awesome girls in my group, and the fellow Grey's Anatomy addict), posted the first blog entry for the India group blog. I encourage everyone to check it out, and get more perspective on the whole experience.

INdia Group Blog

Check ya later, off to go grab some snakcs at this cool organic place that apparently has to die for banana chocolate bread, and also has filtered water, yaya! After that, singing lessons and kattak dance.

On the Banks of the Ganga (Ganges)

Days are starting to run into each other. It's very hard to keep track of what's what day of the week and date. So I suppose it was a few days ago that our group took an overnight train to Varanasi. As mentioned in the previous post, the idea taking the train made me want to pretty much just shit my pants. I am still alive and that is good.

THe train ride was pretty hard for me. I mean, we got locks and chains for our stuff, and the people in our section were fine, and I felt like my group was a big protective unit, but with all those horror stories, I was still pretty freakin freaked. It was okay though. There were people just sitting on the ground in the train. A few of our group members awoke (it was an overnight train) to opened pockets, but no one had anything stolen. We were all really careful about where to put our valuables.

So then we arrived in Varanasi and spent the first day just getting oriented. It was not the same level of chaos as Delhi, but still very crazy and there are a LOT more animals here. it seems there are always cows and with that lots of cow shit, right outside the guest house where we are staying. Down by the ghats, which is like the riverbank, there are goats (including a goat that we saw in a t-shirt!), dogs, lots and lots of dogs cats, monkees, and so on. In fact the other day, a monkey jumped onto the roof of the guest house, which shook the whole building. Earlier today, I saw a water buffalo just cruising down the street with a cow. ANimal central.

One thing there is more than anything else is bugs. In the first two nights here, I just got bitten to bits. I am just covered in bites. It makes me really glad Im taking my malaria pills (the effects of which are negligible at this point, I feel like my body just adjusted super quick to that). It is definitely something to constantly be aware of, the risk of diseases, not drinking the water, or burshing teeth with the water, not touching face, nose, eyes. Another adjustment thing has been getting used to Indian toilets. IN Delhi, we had very rustic western toilets, and very cold showers. Here we have toilets that are basically a hole in the ground that you squat over, and for showering, it's basically filling a bucket with water and using that to wash.

I got a little sick the other day, which was no fun at all, queasy stomach all day, horrible painful gas, chills, headache, and just overall feeling achy and terrible. This was right after getting all the bites, and it could have been a reaction to that as well as getting accustomed to different food. It passed after a day, bnut at the time I was feeling so crappy and also really scared and was sort of freakign out all day, just wanting to go home, missing my bed and hot showers and the people I know and love and just anything familiar. I basically spent the whole day wanting to go home really bad. Another girl in our group went home earlier that day. She was really homesick and having a hard time, and I had a hard time with her leaving. It's funny how quicly you get to know someone on a trip like this. I had felt really bonded with her, and also like she and I were both having the hardest time adjusting. ON Tuesday I really thought I would end up going home, I just wanted to so badly. But I am still here, and that is largely due to my group and my leaders. THey have been so awesome and helpful, and I feel like everyone in the group has been super supportive and understanding. I woke up the next day feeling a million times better, mentally and physically and emotionally.

Getting around has thorwn me for a lop as I mentioned in previous blogs. It is just so unlike America. When I was younger, I had mobility lessons, which is basically teaching you how to get around with limited vision, there are lots of techniques, and they are all pretty much out the freakin' window in India. FOr example, you learn to cross streets by following the parallel traffic. Well, there is absolutely no such thing here at all. Also you learn to use listening as a navigating tool, and that too is just out the window because there is just a cacophany of noise everywhere, from every which direction. And there are no sidewalks or anything of the sort. And steps are pretty indescript and uneven, so these things have presented a major challenge. Like I said in the last blog, I have never felt like my eyesight has been as big of an issue as it is here in India. Still, I do feel Im adjusting. Up until now, I always walked around holding onto someone's hand. My group was great about that. I was really worried about being a burden, but honestly, people pretty convinced me that I wasn't and I felt like everyone was equally willing to help me out at any time. There was no set rule of who I would walk with but it alternated a lot and also just seemed to flow really naturally. I cannot say enough how happy I am with my group and our leaders. I just feel like I could not have asked for a better conglomeration of awesome people, and I usually hate being in groups.

Anyway, yesterday I tested the waters by walking around with some people in my group without holding onto anyone's hand, and it went okay! It was scary, with all the chaos and motorcycles and bikes and cars and all number of other vehicles and people, but I managed okay. I am sure it will be a learning process as I adapt to the roads here, and there will still be tiems when I need a hand, especially at night, but it felt really, really good to walk on my own. And to top that off, yesterday I actually walked from a building where I'm doing an internship, back to the guest house totally by myself, which felt awesome, like I was back on solid ground, being able to do that. It'll take some time to learn each new place, but I feel like okay, I can do this, and things can change for the better. It was a great feeling. I also feel like it is REALLY ture what so many people told me before I left, that this gtrip is going to change me, that I'm going to come back a different person. I am seriously challenging myself big time and I think it is going to greatly effect my confidence. I am looking forward to all of it.

It really feels like an epic joureny.

So, what else? I have been experiencing a lot here in Varanasi. Watched the sunrise over the Ganga, which is just a block or two from the guest house. It was pretty rad. THere was a third quarter moon in the sky as well. I took some rad pictures. Also it seems there are weddings every day here. And music in the streets all the time. It's awesome. Smoked some apple hookah at a mediteranian restaurant last night. Trying allll sorts of new foods. Last night we had a lecture from a really old guy about HIndu philosophy and INdian culture. In the morning we have Hindi classes, which are chalenging but going well. I sometimes find myself wanting to speak or interpret things in french, probably b/c it's my go to foreign language I guess. I feel like even though I can't read the board, I am doing pretty well in class, definitely catching on conceptually and structurally, and just feeling pretty good about it in class, though still too shy to really speak it to people on the streets and in the sops and all that. There are also internships available to our group, like indian cooking, fire dancing, stone carving, miniature painting, sitar lessons, jewelry making and a few more. I am doing Indian singing, which is cool because I have wanted to take singing lessons my whole life, who knew that I would get to do that in India? It's awesome. I'm also doing an internship in kattak dance, which is north indian traditional dance. This I took as a real challenge for myself. In fact, if Elynn reads this she will probably pass out from complete shock that I am taking a dance class.

Dance is something that is very hard for me, b/c I can't discern the intricate movements people are doing, b/c of my eyesight, and I'm horribly uncoordinated. SO, put these things together, and I have a really tough time. A lot of dance things in my past like even doing dance or other intircate movement stuff in gym classes or yoga classes (though i have had some good yoga classes too), or any sort of group dance thing, or going out dancing and people trying to show me what they are doing, has been pretty humiliating and painful and traumatic to the paoint that I pretty much NEVER dance. OH except if I am just sooooo drunk I don't care, and on top of that really feeling the mood and un-self-conscious. So, this internship is a big deal and challenge for me, but it's one on one, and my teacher is great, so it's going okay. I am still having a bit of trouble with the coordination, but whatevs. I wanted to quit my internships when I was feeling all shitty and sick and scared shitless, but partly thanks to one of the group members I decided to give it a go. It's still hard, but I"m going to stick with it. I want to work on not quitting thigns that get hard, partly b/c if all goes as I want it to, the school I'm going to in the fall is going to kick my ass, which I want, but I want to be mentally prepared not get psyched out, so I'm trying to build myself up in that way.

Let's see, what else? I've had lots of terrible American songs stuck in my head since I've been here, which is a weird phenomenon. I mean, songs that I would NEVER EVER listen to in the states. And I have a lot of guilty pleasure songs, a lot, but these, no way in hell ever. It's like songs I only know because at work in the summers when we have international staff they always want to listen to the super pop stations. Okay to give a few examples, one of the songs that's been stuck in my head on and off since the second day here is the umbrella song, you know, "Under my umbrella, ella ella..." Terrible song. Another is "It's too late to apologize, it's too late" (I don't even know what the name or "artist" of that song is, but if anyone reading this has ever heard it they will know what I'm talking about and probably get infected with that earworm themselves!)

I suppose that's it for now. I'm taking lots of pictures, there are so many things that a thousand words can't capture, and at the moment, I'm feeling really good, happy to be here, excited for the reast of the trip, etc. We've got about five more days in Varanasi, and then we move on to Bodhgaya. It seems like there's lots left to do here too. TOmorrow morning we are taking a boat ride atr 6am on the Ganga. I am PSYCHED for that. And we are also probably having more lectures and surely experiencing lots more things!

Just for clarification, bc I started this blog a few days ago, it's going to say it's posted on the 16th I think, today is the 19th (Grey's day) for real.

Currently Reading:
"THis is YOur Brain on Music" - loving it, totally loving it. I'm still only on the first chapter. It's great b/c its' very mentally engaging and stimulating, and totally has the scientific mettle I was missing a bit in The Biology of Belief. And it's nice to have that as a contrast to the just complte oversaturation of the senses and emotions that's going on.

Currently playing in my head:
"Scratch" - Kendall Payne - okay this is my favorite song from Grey's, and I think it's at a super poignant scene between Meredith and Derek, (oooh and I found out another girl in my gorup is totally obsessed with Grey's too, which was just awesome, I'm reallypsyched to have someone to talke to about Grey's) and it's in the first episode I ever saw, "Break On THrough." So I got the song on my home computer and got kinda really really into, and this is the song that has been in my head the most since the moment we arrived at the airport in Delhi, and I'm going to post the lyrics, and there's a certain line in there which make it obvious why. THis song has been in my head so much I dreamed about it the other night. It's not exactly the sort of song I would totally listen to, musically and lyrically in some ways but that's the beauty of getting songs from shows, I guess. I dig it. And it's not often that you stumble on a song you love, that just happens to mention the third world country you're traveling to. And I can sort of relate to the whole "wish I was small" part of it too, with everything being so overwhelming here.

Scratch

It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And everyday I wish I was small
I've been counting on nothing
But he keeps giving me his word
And I am tired of hearing myself speak
Do you ever get weary?
Do you ever get weak?
How do you dream
When you can't fall asleep?

I've been wondering what you're thinking
And if you like my dress tonight?
Would you still say you love me
Under this ordinary moonlight?
I'm so afraid of what you'll say.

Chorus
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance

I used to think I was special
And only I have proved me wrong
I thought I could change
The world with a song
But I have ended up in India
With no lamp to guide me home.
The strangest place I think
I have ever been
And all this time
I thought that we were friends
My stubborn will is learning to bend.

Chorus
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance

I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance

It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And every day I wish I was small

Delhi, Delhi, Delhi

It hasn't even been 48 hours since my last post, and it has been a whirlwind. This is so unlike anything I've ever experienced that its hard to find a way to put it into words. It is total chaos for one thing, I mean just insanity, but it also sort of works. THe streets are just nuts. I mean I am afraid for my life everytime I walk into the streets for any reason, which is almost all the time, as there aren't sidewalks like in the states, it's just mad chaos with motorcycles, rickshaws (of the bike and auto variety), cars, cabs, horses, dogs, COWS, people, bikes, etc going every which way, honking constantly, with pretty much no traffic rules whatsoever. Leo, if you ever came here the driving would really give you a coronary on the spot. I am always holding on to someone's elbow from my group when going into the streets b/c it's just too much chaos for me to be able to really visually track it. Plus there is just constatn noise (which doesn't stop at any hour of the night) and just no road rules to follow. There are also allll kinds of semlls everywehre - diesel, people, animal smells, sewer type smells, awesome food smells, all mixing and mingling constantly in the air. Delhi is an assault on the senses, and definitely major, major stimulation overload.

As far as riding in it, I kind of love it. I have this thing, and maybe it comes w/not driving, (and I could see how it could go the complete opposite too), where I just don't really frea out in cars at all, even with semi-reckless drivers. I don't know exactly hat that's about. I just always feel relatively calm and safe in cars, mayb b/c i'm so used to it. So the first cab ride was exhilerating. RIding in rickshaws, almost moreso. It's nuts, they're open, there's no windows, some don't have mirrors, we sometimes ride in them with people on laps, just hanging on for our lives. And there are no seatbelts in any of the vehicles except for front seats, and like I said, absolutely no rules, like our rickshaw will be it's own lane, or make crazy cuts across the road, and there are also people in the roads, mostly beggars, who will come up to you while in the vehicles (often with kids) and ask for money. It's heartbreaking. So are some of the animals. THere are dogs everywhere and they are so tiny, and today we saw a really tiny cat. The streets are also cracked and full of potholes and mud and garbage and and just broken down.

Some things make me glad for my low vision. Seriously. RIght after we left the internet cafe last time, the others in my group saw a dog get its paw run over or something like that, and there is a lot of poverty, which is hard to watch, and there are other things I'm glad I'm missing too - I mean in some ways it is a blessing.

Anyway, even after 24 hours of flying and a massive time difference, I felt pretty much zero jetlag. I have never really experienced it, knock on wood, so that's good. ANd yesterday I felt pretty okay with everything. We went to the Lodi gardens to do some orientation activities, and then our group split in two gouprs to do a scavenger h unt across the city, with all kinds of tasks we had to accomplish, like getting and mailing postcards (Leo I sent one to you, look for it, let me know when it arrives), learning Hindi phrases (our group learned "I am lost" "I love you" "Beauty" and "Where are my pants?"), making a phone call from an "STD" (which is a public phone but gets lots of laughs), exchange money, etc. I felt totally safe and fine w/my group. We met some great people, including this guy Aqui who helped us negotiate a cab price. While we were waiting for the cab, he bought us all tea and practiced his english on us. It was cool b/c then we were all sitting in the cab place waiting, and just talking about Obama and Bush. THis guy who worked at the cab place was telling us about some cartoon he saw where BUsh was sitting outside of the white house homeless and jobless, it was pretty funny.

A lot of people were so nice. It really struck me, partly in thinking about how we treat visitors from other countries back in the US. HEre everyone asks where we're from, and when we tell them, they have only nice things to say, or want to practice english wish us, and so on. Or start talking to us about american pop stars! I am really glad to be traveling post-election though, that's for sure.

So yesterday was great. I was feeling like I was okay on the jetlag front and also dealing with the culture shock pretty okay. I felt great. TOday was a different story. We are taking the train to Varanasi tonight, and in our briefing about that, we had a few warnings about really guarding our belongings, being aggressive about when to get out of the train or we'll miss our stop, being super aware of pickpocketers (I've been keeping my money for the day in my bra, lol) and also being aware that people might like sit on our seats or come share our seats on the train. THen we were told the begging is much more prevalent in Varanasi, and we're going to have to use "Indian toilets' which is basically a hole in the ground. All of it was very overwhelming to me. I mean I still find Delhi a bit overwhelming, and all the warnings about pickpocets and missing our stop, and the train being a major, major just madhouse where you have to be super aware and aggressive, pretty much scared the shit out of me. So I spent the morning after that talk pretty freakin' freaked, but I did talk to one of the leaders about it. I'm sure by the end of my three months, I'll be fine w/most of this, but right now it's a bit much.

I am also used to being so independent and traveling all over the states by myself - here it might as well be another world - there is just NO comparison whatsoever. I actually tried to take some video on the rickshaw just to try to captrue it because there aren't words for it, and I think it came out all right, it's just that of course, after I stopped recording is when it got to the usual mass insanity. So yeah, I'm using to feel independent. I mean I take NYC subways and feel fine, I've walked around Sattle in the middle of the night and felt fine, but here, it is just a whole different story. I feel like a bit of an easy target. I'm totally overwhelmed by the chaos in the streets when walking, afraid of getting run over, mugged, or just totally latched onto by a beggar (we have been giving any of our extra food away, which I think is pretty cool) or harassed or any number of things. It basically feels very, very uncomfortable, which in a way is the point I suppose.

This is definitely the scariest thing I've ever done in my life, but I think I'm still glad I'm doing it? This morning, I felt like I just wasn't ready to handle it and that I just wanted to go home. The weird thing is though, I have not felt homesick. I mean for a quick moment this morning, I missed my apartment, and just wanted to watch Grey's Anatomy, lol, like in the very very height of my freaking out, I just wanted something familiar and comforting, but aside from that brief moment, I have not missed home, have barely thought about my apartment. I am telling you I already feel like I no longer live there. I think it also helped that I was traveling before leaving, because I was already sleeping in lots of different places, so that part of things just hasn't even phased me.

All in all though, I'm all right. Haven't gotten diarrhea or sunburn yet, knock on wood, have een vigilant about not drinking the water, am getting used to carrying the weight of my pack (also glad I was traveling before I left the states b/c that gave me some preparation for luggign my pack around). I mean, I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed emotionally - it's a lot to take in, really, but at the moment, I'm okay. And after talking to one of the trip leaders I feel secure that they will be looking out for me in the train. And that they don't feel too burdened by my visual impairment. I was starting to really worry about that - it's definitely more of an issue here than in the states. At least it feels that way. So, feeling better about that.

On a strange note, we did see McDonald's and KFC here, which was very strange, and there were armed guards outside. Oh also we saw some guy freebasing in some underground walkway thing that sort of looked like a subway tunnel. And we walked through some place where apparently a terrorist bomb had been recently diffused, according to Aqui, who sort of translated for us, and we had to go through metal detectors. Again, just no possible comparison.

I am really happy with my group and our leaders, it is a great mix of really different peope, and I think it's going to work well. Everyone's pretty awesome.

Anyway, off to brave the train!


Currently Reading:
"This is Your Brain on Music" - Daniel Levitin - just started, so really no commentary yet. I left my iPod w/a friend in san fran so no music part of the blog for awhile.

Arrival Day in Delhi

So, got in a few hours ago, after almost 24 hours of flying and airports. It's been a long few days. My group seems really, really cool, which is awesome. Flights were long and uneventful. First time really flying over the entire Pacific, which was weird.

Anyway, it is nuts here! The roads are like NOTHING you would ever see in America, I mean there is no comparison - just chaos, all kinds of vehicles, cows in the road, people everywhere, nonstop honking, and it's almost like there's no real traffic rules, just everyone driving every which way, on bikes, rickshaws, buses, cabs, cars, motorcycles, in a mass of just chaos. Actually the cab ride from the airport to where we're staying was pretty exhilerating. Crossing the street though, that's terrifying!

I am a bit freaked out and overwhelmed, but all in all, it's going okay. We all got here in one piece, got to where we were going, had some good Indian food for dinner and wandered to find this cafe.

So, that's all for now. More later.

And now from San Francisco

Hell yeah, so much has happened in the last week, I don't even know where to start.

My visit to Evergreen left me feeling mixed about the school. It's a definite possibility, but not a first choice. As with just about every school, there are pluses and minuses. I'm trying to take all of that into account with each school. And I'm still not sure I'm crazy about Olympia, but I did eat some of the best thai food ever there, a green curry dish with avocado, which was so delicious, but not enough to totally make me want to move there, I mean, there are other factors, lol.

THe next stop was Portland, which was OMG, a nonstop blast from the moment I got there to the moment I left. One of my best best friends from Orcas, Elynn, just moved there, and it was so great to see her, as well as my friend Kelly who I haven't seen since I went to Coachella in 2006. It was cool to bring friends together from different places. We went out to this totally cool place called THe Sapphire Hotel (which used to be a brothel, lol) for dinner, and had a blast. The next night I went to happy hour with Kelly and one of her friends and had another blast of an evening. The next night I met with the people who run the India program. WE've been in email communication since about July, so it was great to meet them. We went out to Thai food (second time in one week, god I love Thai food), and again, it was a total blast. On the way to drop me off back at Elynn's, they stopped at the training place so I could meet my trip leaders.

ANd here's where things get trippy. I have two trip leaders for India. THe trip leaders and participants are from all over the place, and somehow in a completely mind-blowing "small world" moment, one of my trip leaders already knows me. He used to work at camp, and for anyone from Orkila who follows my blog, his name is Andrew Bruck, and he worked with a bunc of people I know. I don't remember ever meeting him before, but it often happens that people I don't know, know me. I'm pretty recognizable. That was a cool moment. I really enjoyed meeting my trip leaders.

My school visits were great. Well, one was so-so and one was so mindblowingly awesome I think I will cry myself into oblivion if I don't get in. Really like dream college, like love at first sight. Being the happy and shiny optimist that I am, (sarcasm), I kept waiting for something to go wrong. Or something ot not be so awsome, but it never happened. I sat in on three classes. FIrst was a humanities lecture, which was cool (and really reminded me that I am lacking in background on the subjects of the classics, and greek/roman stuff, which is what the class was about). It was cool b/c it was obvious that the prof giving the lecture was just so knowledgable and excited about her topic. THen I went to a conference class based on the lecture, which was a great experience where everyone in the class spoke up and debated and argued and discussed. Then I actually went to a Latin class, which I had no background in - they set me up with a student host and I just went w/her to her morning classes - but it was cool. IN the class I ran into a girl who had given me directions earlier that morning, and she was super friendly and helpful. Another girl sitting next to me was also super welcoming, as was the prof. The girl sitting next to me, before the class started, told the class that she was having an intellectual identity crisis, b/c before college, she was always the smart one, and now that she's there, everyone is the smart one and it's kicking her ass and it's hard. I thought it was really brave of someone to stand up and admit that to their peers like that. And someone else in the class got up and went over and gave her a hug. It was very sweet. All around, the students were awesome, and all around in Portland in general, I think I got more hugs in those few days than the rest of the year combined!

The classes were great. THe classrooms were great, very conference style, interactive, with big windows. And the campus is fucking gorgeous. So is Evergreen's, maybe moreso. ANyway I met some students for lunch, and this school had the best food so far, also a plus, I ate with another student host and her punk rocker friend, and it was awesome. They were soooo psyched about the school, loved being students there, just couldn't stop talking about how much they loved it. THey gave me heads up on what profs to take and not take. One of them had just taken an english class in which she'd read The God of Small THings, which anyone who reads this blog knows is one of my favorite books ever, total desert island book, probably the best book I've ever read. So, another plus. THe other thing I noticed was that with every student I interacted with, I didn't feel like I was talking to 18 year olds, if you know w hat I mean, and no one seemed like freshman, I forgot about the age difference entirely. One of the students hugged me before we parted ways and I left for my info session, tour and interview, all of which were just fantastic. God that campus is gorgeous, and could easily ssatisfy my nature needs, maybe not quite as much as Evergreen's campus, but close.

I'm a little rushed, and overfloweing with things to say, so, anyway, after that and some other cool activities, and after that I had some time so decided to visit the office for students with disabilities, and again sort of thinking okay, here is where the other shoe might fall, but no. I got lost trying to find the building, then ran into a guy who works in admissions, and he walked me all the way over to the building, which was cool, and then I met with the director of disabled student services, and it honestly sounded better than most places I've looked at, which just blew me away. Everyone was just amazingly awesome. Think good thoughts for me to get in - it's a tough school, nad if I go it'll kick my ass intellectually, but I'm sort of looking for that. I want to be challenged, and to really have to rise to my potential.

I so want to go there. I so loved Portland. I had nonstop fun there, including the day after my visits, just chilling w/Elynn. We got desk chairs from this Habitat for Humanities store and went over to the esplanade and the planetarium, and we both agreed we had more fun in that day than we did in all our time on Orcas. I already feel like I don't even live on Orcas anymore, though I did keep my apartment. It's just like that world is behind me. One of the leaders of this program, actually the director, told me this morning that he thinks it's like I've been living in a cocoon for the last six years on Orcas, and now I'm coming out of the cocooon, it was really cool.

Anyway, I am about to leave to go eat dinner with my India group, then go to the airport to my group to catch my flight. So peace out, I guess. I'll be writing from the road I'm sure. THere is also a group blog anyone can read to see updates from all kinds of members of my group. I have met three of them already and am having a great time. Went out to Ethiopian food last night with the group, and they were playing TOOL and Alice in Chains in the restaurant, which just made my night.

Midnight tonight, I'll be headed to Hong Kong, then Delhi. I can't believe this is really real!

Here is the group blog:
India Group Blog

Check ya later, America!

Greetings from Olympia

I left Orcas yesterday morning, had a real nice ride w/my friend Trish to Mt. Vernon, where I caught the Greyhound (oh the hours upon hours of my life I have spent on Greyhound buses) and got into Olympia yesterday evening. I'm sitting in the computer lab at Evergreen, waiting for my campus visit to start in an hour.

The cool thing is, on Saturday, my last day to get mail on Orcas, I got a package from Evergreen that I thought was going to be a guidebook or catalog, and it was, but it also was an acceptance letter! And I got a small scholarship for academic achievement to help offset tuition. So, that is good news so far! That makes two colleges that have admitted me so far (the other being Portland State, and my India program is through them, and I had to apply to get in in order to get credit/financial aid for India, so I've been accepted there since August). Two yes's, four to go. I guess I'm off to a good start, and it was really nice to see some payoff from all that work I put in, before I left.

I had a great, great time doing tarot readigns and hanging out w/my friend Tracy last night. She is one of my favorite people ever. We used to share a house on camp for a magical winter, and now we see each other about once a year and it's always awesome.

Very first impressions of Olympia/Evergreen: It's woodsy, which is a major, major plus in my book. Coming into the city on the bus, we rode through miles of trees. I like that. And then this morning, taking the bus to campus was the same thing. Very green. Lots and lots of trees. There is also nearby ocean, right on, gotta love that. People seem friendly and aware.

I always notice what sort of things I overhear on public transit in a place. I guess that really started last year when I was on the east coast visiting schools. I noticed what sort of conversations were going on around me. A friend of mine who I visited went to a very good school, yet on the buses around campus, the talk was some of the most petty, shallow crap I have ever heard, I mean I would have thought I was in middle school. And it was consistent everytime we rode that bus, and students were rude (no one thanked the driver. As a contrast, when I was visiting Emerson, the conversations I overheard were about projects (film, art, writing, music), political discussions, intelligent conversation. People seemed animated and passionate about what they were doing, and they were much friendlier.

So this morning I paid attention on the bus, not just to the fact that we were passing through woodsy landscape, but also to what was going on in the bus around me. And people seemed friendly and talkative, and were having discussions about classes and programs, they seemed engaged, which is cool.

I do wonder if Olympia might be a bit too sleepy and small for me, not different enough from Orcas in a way, so that remains to be seen. Later today, I"m doing all sorts of school activities, including sitting in on a class on environmental health, public policy and social justice, taking a tour, and going to an info session. I hope it'll give me a good flavor of the school so I can get a relative feel for how I would fit in here, and whether it is a good fit academically.

I will try to blog often, on the road!

Currently Reading: The Biology of Belief - Bruce Lipton - interesting book, I just started it, about how our environments (and beliefs) affect our cells. Right up my alley - mind stuff, medical stuff, sort of new age stuff. I am only at the beginning, but I do wish it was a little more sciency in tone and content. I know this book is written for the lay person but it does at times feel like being talked down to, or dumbed down, which for me as a reader doesn't exactly help with credibility for a somewhat out there concept. The scientist in me wants more science, but I'll live.