First of all, I'm really glad I joined #FridayFlash - it has been really nice to post my work, to see that more people are reading and to read the work of other writers. They're all less than 1,000 words, so it's great to have quick reads like that. I encourage anyone who reads here to pop into the comments section on the #FridayFlash post below and read some of the other Flashers' work. Hmmm, that sounds pretty dirty; I love it.
I also want to direct you to Joy in Hope the organization that my good friend Stargazerleo's cousins are part of in Haiti. They have been living there for several years now. Also, at the end of J. M. Strother's #FridayFlash (he is the creator of FridayFlash) there are some links to aid organizations, including a cross-listing. I have been reading that small donations are really making a difference, so even though I am really not in a good spot financially at the moment, I gave to Doctors Without Borders this morning.
And! Just announced! The lovely Linda Simoni-Wastila is donating $1 for every comment on her Help Haiti post to Doctors Without Borders. If you link her post on your blog, she'll double it! And while you're over there, taking the time to make a simple comment so she can donate a dollar on your behalf, you should check out her writing too, because she's awesome.
For anyone in the Portland area and especially other Portland State students, there will be a blood drive on campus (SMSU 3rd Floor Ballroom):
Monday 2/1 11:00-4:00
Tuesday 2/2 11:00-4:00
Wednesday 2/3 11:00-4:00
You can make a donation appointment online by clicking the link below. You can also contact Gwyn Ashcom at gwyn@pdx.edu or at 503-725-5123 to schedule your donation appointment.
give blood
I'm going to do it if I can - I can't remember what the restrictions are regarding tattoos, but as long as they don't mind that I got one ten months ago, in a third world country, I'm going to give.
Speaking of doctors and international relief work, I came across Redundancy Redefined, a blog by Scott, a member of my study group. The most recent post, The Kurdish Surgeon is an interview with Mina Meman who is embarking on a journey to make a documentary about health care in Kurdistan, which I think is amazing, and the interview is really worth a read.
So many people are doing so many amazing things in the world.
And (maybe?) that brings us to my life which is not nearly so interesting or having such a profound impact on the world, at the moment anyway. It just feels like I'm overdue for some updates.
The first week back in class was really hard. Biology wasn't, but surprisingly, my singing class and my self-defense class both were difficult. In the singing class, we do a lot of movement, including lots of physical exercises to get us ready to sing, posture training, and some movement games, and all of that is really hard for me to follow visually. I felt like quitting after the first day I was so frustrated. I just can't see the nuances of posture or the intricacy of movements so I often can't keep up and it felt humiliating because while others were following perfectly, I just couldn't and felt like I looked like an idiot. So it has been challenging. Add to that that while reading the syllabus I realized we have to do three solo performances that are graded, and there is a whole section on musical theater, which means a lot more movement. I was more worried that this class might bring down my GPA than I ever worried about Biology! Eeeeeeek! But I decided to stick with it. I've always wanted to learn to sing, and the instructor is being really helpful and encouraging, so I decided to keep going. It's gotten easier, now that I'm more used to the movements that we do, and it's gotten more fun and less stressful. Still, the performances seem scary and I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck.
We also will have a midterm in the singing class, and a lot of that will actually be a test on anatomy. We are spending a lot of time going over the anatomy of the throat, the larynx, the tongue, the ribs and intercostal muscles, etc. And I am loving that part of things.
Self-defense was even harder. The class was in a big room, and there were a LOT of students. I really couldn't follow just about anything in the first class, and felt so frustrated I wanted to cry. The things we were learning in that class, like how to be assertive, yell strongly, etc, are really not my strong point too. I felt like I was one of the shyest people in the class, which only made me feel worse about not being able to keep up. There were some other things that made the class even harder, and I decided not to stay with that class. Since I think I really do need those skills, though, I found something else, which I think will be even better. I found a class offered through the Portland police department's WomensStrength Program. It's free (rather than paying tuition for a credit hour), and they are on the up and up about accommodations, and they said I will have someone working with me individually during the class, that's what they do for visually-impaired students. Right on! And the place is really easy to get to on public transit. The first class is on my birthday.
And then I have Biology. It's been great. This quarter goes at a slower pace than last term, and the material seems a lot easier. Evolution is pretty straightforward. There's been a lot of vocabulary, and new concepts, and I'm enjoying the class, but it's just not as hard, or as frenetically paced as last term. And part of me misses that, because it was so challenging. I notice I'm not quite as motivated this time around because it just really, so far, isn't that difficult. Lab has been interesting, too. They re-structured it a bit from last term. Tomorrow for the first time ever in my life, I will be doing a dissection (of a perch). I feel like I should be grossed out, or have some ethical concerns, but the honest truth is that I'm kind of really psyched, like how fucking cool is that?! I want to see innards. I'll get to see the heart and the intestines and the liver and the gills and the stomach and the pyloric ceca (whatever that is). The thing that worries me most is how bad it's all going to smell. Before lab, I have my first Bio exam for the quarter tomorrow, so it'll be an exciting day. After all of that, I'll be helping a friend of mine from Orcas who moved to Portland awhile ago to go to midwifery school celebrate her 30th birthday, so tomorrow is a loaded day, and I probably should be studying, and reading up on my dissection, but procrastination prevails.
In other news, I'm going to Baltimore for a weekend at the end of the month, for a training program with the National Federation of the Blind's College Leadership Program. I don't know what to expect, but should be interesting. It will be one hell of a whirlwind trip, flying out on a Friday, flying back earlyish on Sunday, and hopefully it'll be worth the time and effort! After the leadership program, the NFB heads to DC for their annual Washington Seminar where lots of blind and visually-impaired people gather to talk to their Congressional representatives about issues that effect the blind community. It goes on through most of the week that follows that weekend, and I'm a little sad I can't go and experience the whole thing, but I have class, performance in music, and my second exam in bio coming up. So I'll just be at the Baltimore part of it, and hopefully that will be really great.
Want to hear something that just makes my day? So, every episode of Grey's Anatomy is named after a song, and there have been some good ones so far - the ones I've appreciated have mostly been classic rock or REM and one Nine Inch Nails - but nothing from any band that I really love. We're on Season 6 here, so I was sort of giving up hope but always really wanting to have an episode named after a song I love, especially since I love to name chapters and pieces of writing after songs or song references. Well I just found out that the episode that comes out on my birthday is called "State of Love and Trust" which for anyone who doesn't know, is a song by Pearl Jam from the "Singles" soundtrack. I love that song! It's quirky but that just totally made my day. I can't wait!
Currently listening:
"Famous Blue Raincoat" - Tori Amos (cover) - probably one of my favorite covers she's done. The song is originally by Leonard Cohen, and if you pay attention to the lyrics, they're like a letter. From what I remember reading, Tori wanted to cover the song, vocally, as if she was Jane, who had stolen the letter and was reading it out loud. I just love the words, the music, the atmosphere of the song, and her voice. It's full of emotion, and has a melancholy feel to it.
It's 4 in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now to see if you're better
New York is cold but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening
I hear that you're building your little house, deep in the desert
I hear you're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record
Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
On the night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?
Last time I saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat torn at the shoulder
Been to the station to meet every train
You came home alone without lili marlene
You treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife
Well, I see you there with a rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well, I see Jane's awake
She sends her regards
What can I tell you my brother, my killer?
What can I possibly say?
Hey, I guess that I miss you
I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way
If you ever come by here
For Jane
No, for me
Your enemy is sleeping
And his woman is free
Well, thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried
And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
On the night that you planned to go clear
Sincerely, L. Cohen
Showing posts with label Grey's Anatomy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grey's Anatomy. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
A Fun, Flash Fiction Contest You Can Vote In!
Want to read some very cool and short fiction? You can vote for your favorite, and the winner gets published in an anthology. I think it's really cool. This whole thing is centered around #FridayFlash, a writers phenomenon thatstarted on the internet and has really taken off. I think it's just awesome to support grassroots writing communities like this.
So go to the #FridayFlash contest site, read the entries, and vote!
I also have to add my own persuasion in here and especially urge you to vote for the gifted and brilliant writer, Linda Simoni-Wastila and her piece, SILVER BULLET. It's excellent. Any readers who may be or ever have been involved in academia might especially enjoy it. Or anyone who's just had a real asshole for a teacher at some point. And that has to apply to just about everyone! So go read it, and don't forget to vote to see your favorite piece get some publication.
I just think the whole thing really rocks.
In other news, I am going to be joining #FridayFlash myself, so look for some memoir writing, fiction writing, maybe another splash or two of poetry, here on Fridays. Some people on here, even those I've known for years, haven't ever seen my writing, so here is your chance. I'll still do other blogs about life and all that during the week. I hope you will read along and check in on Fridays.
In other, less-related news, it is Thursday night and I can't help myself (even though I am a little embarrassed about my over-the-top fandom) from saying how freakin' happy I am that Grey's Anatomy finally came back tonight! My world has been a little dark ever since New Year's Eve adn I can't seem to shake that darkness, and today was definitely a dark day and somehow, dorky as this may be, watching Grey's tonight brought a little light to my smile and brightened my day. And I can't wait until next week, when The Office will also be back. Just loving having that to look forward to on Thursdays and House on Mondays.
But don't forget! Go read the flash fiction and vote!
Currently listening:
"Independence Day" - Ani DiFranco - so weird, this song just came up twice, not quite right in a row, but close, on my iTunes. I've been in an Ani sort of mood lately, and I really love this song. I love sassy Ani, but I also love her softer, dark and brooding like this. And I love the lines about trying to make molehills out of mountains. Just love her way with words.
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up, and were pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
and i gotta big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door
don't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free
don't leave me here
now that your back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
and looked up at the sky
So go to the #FridayFlash contest site, read the entries, and vote!
I also have to add my own persuasion in here and especially urge you to vote for the gifted and brilliant writer, Linda Simoni-Wastila and her piece, SILVER BULLET. It's excellent. Any readers who may be or ever have been involved in academia might especially enjoy it. Or anyone who's just had a real asshole for a teacher at some point. And that has to apply to just about everyone! So go read it, and don't forget to vote to see your favorite piece get some publication.
I just think the whole thing really rocks.
In other news, I am going to be joining #FridayFlash myself, so look for some memoir writing, fiction writing, maybe another splash or two of poetry, here on Fridays. Some people on here, even those I've known for years, haven't ever seen my writing, so here is your chance. I'll still do other blogs about life and all that during the week. I hope you will read along and check in on Fridays.
In other, less-related news, it is Thursday night and I can't help myself (even though I am a little embarrassed about my over-the-top fandom) from saying how freakin' happy I am that Grey's Anatomy finally came back tonight! My world has been a little dark ever since New Year's Eve adn I can't seem to shake that darkness, and today was definitely a dark day and somehow, dorky as this may be, watching Grey's tonight brought a little light to my smile and brightened my day. And I can't wait until next week, when The Office will also be back. Just loving having that to look forward to on Thursdays and House on Mondays.
But don't forget! Go read the flash fiction and vote!
Currently listening:
"Independence Day" - Ani DiFranco - so weird, this song just came up twice, not quite right in a row, but close, on my iTunes. I've been in an Ani sort of mood lately, and I really love this song. I love sassy Ani, but I also love her softer, dark and brooding like this. And I love the lines about trying to make molehills out of mountains. Just love her way with words.
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up, and were pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
and i gotta big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door
don't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free
don't leave me here
now that your back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
and looked up at the sky
Friday, January 9, 2009
Begin the Begin
So, it's 2009, and I've gotta say I'm pretty glad. I put some stock into the theory of the numerological year, that we go through these nine-year cycles. At least, I've found my years to fit this pattern pretty consistently. Last year I was in a 7 year - the lowest energy in the cycle, and have now entered the 8 year. A numerologist once told a friend of mine, when she was entering her 8 year, that she'd feel like she'd "been shot out of a cannon!" It's supposed to be the highest energy year, and very auspicious for success. As if that wasn't enough positive power of suggestion right there, all the astrology books point to this being a great year for Aquarians. Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, has entered my sign, suggesting a golden year. I'm surely ready for that.
And the thing is, I feel it. I definitely feel the energy shift. I mean I sort of do feel shot out of a cannon. I was totally in the dumps all through December, and worse after Xmas, but then in the week leading up to New Year's, something just changed, and I'm not going to question it one bit. I'm all about riding the wave.
So, as for India, I got my ass in gear about that, and I'm definitely going. It's so funny how once I started, everything sort of fell into place. I have my plane ticket. I finished all my vaccinations yesterday, which I'm still in some pretty serious burning and intense muscle pain from, fuck. I got permission to be gone from my apartment for longer than my lease allows, so I'm squared away there. I got someone to check in on my place and take care of my mail while I'm gone. I found out I could set up automatic bill pay to take care of most of my recurring financial concerns. I sent off my India Visa application today. Not to jinx anything, but a lot of loose ends that just two weeks ago seemed enormously overwhelming and impossible, are, well, pretty close to taken care of.
And as for college, I'm kicking even more ass on that front. I don't know if it was that last post (which I did take down, for my own reasons) or what, but I decided it was worth honoring the fact that I have real concerns about whether I'll like living in Bellingham. I can't shake the feeling that it's just too similar to where I live now, and Orcas is a place that I have loved, that my life wouldn't be the same without, a place that has been very close to my heart, in some ways more than any other place I've lived, but I've stayed too long and it's at the point where I feel so claustrophobic and caged living here that it's hard to remember that I have loved this place. And for whatever reason, Bellingham just doesn't feel different enough - it's a pretty small town, and I have this feeling that I might still feel a bit caged and cut off there too. And I don't really know how to put this into words, b/c I honestly do like Bellingham, but it doesn't feel all that alive to me, or that diverse, and I'm afraid I won't find people to hang with, that I'll be real lonely. A friend who went to school there as an older student (she was 24 I think, so older than a lot of undergrads but still younger than I am) said she had a hard time with that. I have this feeling like I'd drown in bluegrass music while craving rock. I could be totally off-base with this feeling, and it could stem from being so past done with living on Orcas (and hearing so many people say how comparable the two places are), but I do feel it's at least worth honoring that feeling enough to explore other options.
I still love Fairhaven and their program, all the classes they offer, the alternative, interdisciplinary structure, the exchanges they have with other schools, and something called the Adventure Learning Grant, which is another awesome study abroad opportunity. I get excited reading the course descriptions, so it's still on the table big-time. I'm also hoping to visit Bellingham again, sometime this month, to get more of a feel for it. I've been there a few times, but it's usually been pretty brief, and another visit couldn't hurt.
I just feel so much better that I've decided to consider other options. I had the best freaking time last year when I visited Emerson, and so I decided to go ahead and apply there, as well as another school in Boston. The cool thing is that they are part of the same consortium exchange thing, where students at one can take classes at the other, which makes me feel better, because there are things I like about both, and it widens the possibilities for classes to take.
Another place I'm looking at is Portland. I've loved that place every time I've been there, and of all the places I'm considering, I've visited there the most, which actually isn't saying all that much. And lately I keep hearing what an awesome literary scene they've got going on there. To me it feels vibrant and alive. They've got some great schools that are totally up on the interdisciplinary studies deal like Fairhaven is, and have some really strong writing programs to boot. I can't even count how many times I hear that Bellingham is Portland-lite, similar in some ways, but lacking in others, and without the same sort of diversity and vibrance, and it's like, why go lite without at least considering the real deal? So I'm looking into two schools there.
And then there's Olympia, which is also on the smaller side, but I figure it's good to have another in-state WA choice in mind, and Evergreen has got to be one of the most interdisciplinary schools out there. I visited once, almost five years ago, and it was pretty cool. I like that they really have a holistic approach to any subject, and they have some programs that look awesome, and one includes a trip to Egypt, which of course caught my eye. I also read that the whole school is completely energy-efficient, which is way cool.
All in all, I'm considering six schools, and let me just say, just the idea of considering more places than just Fairhaven has me feeling tremendously better. I thought that being set on Fairhaven was good for peace of mind, in the way that it left no uncertainty, it was settled, but I think that that settling wasn't quite honest with myself. I could easily end up choosing that school, and I could just as easily choose somewhere else. The point is, it's like a huge gust of fresh air to my spirit, the fact that it's more open now. In the end it'll come down to where I get accepted, what my financial aid packages look like, scholarships, where my credits transfer, and where each college ranks on my own personal preference list (which is TBD as of now, pending more visits to the ones I can visit before I leave).
In the last week, I've rocked my applications to all six - the apps are all in, the transcripts and recommendations are requested, forms are faxed, and many essays are written. I just have one supplemental essay left to write. One school also required a graded paper, and the coolest thing is, I checked with admissions, and I get to use a writing piece that was workshopped at the Orcas Island Writers Festival! I figured it would count, because the workshop leader who evaluated it (they wanted a paper with instructor's comments on it) usually teaches grad students, and that just had to count for something, and it did. I'm psyched, because I think it's a good piece, and the comments on there are great and extremely thorough, with a balance of praise and suggestions for improvement.
For some of this stuff, I've had to dig through the bowels of my memory to contact former teachers and advisors. In one case there was someone I had to find, and I could only remember the first name (I mean, it's been like, nine years here), and they didn't even work at the school I used to go to anymore, so, google has been my friend in finding old profs and the like to fill out forms. It was kind of cool, searching that stuff out. I found that one of my favorite professors, who I had in my first semester of college for intro astronomy, is getting all these grants for really cool studies (that honestly I don't entirely understand exactly what these studies are). It's just cool because that was one of the best classes I ever took, it really got me excited about learning, and that's the best feeling (and can be rare sometimes) to have in school, so it was just nice to see successes for that prof.
So yes, I am kicking ass on these applications. By Sunday I should be done with that one last essay (if not tomorrow), and then I move on to doing everything I can to apply for scholarships, and then financial aid. It's a LOT to get done in a short amount of time. I've sort of thought of the fact that I don't have New Year's resolutions, but very ambitious January goals. If all goes as planned, I'll be leaving Orcas on Feb 2nd. I'm trying to set myself a schedule in the meantime, since I'm currently unemployed, to work at this stuff 8 hours a day, more or less, because there's so much and so little time, but I think I'm doing pretty well so far.
And then I get to unwind with Grey's, which I think I become more obsessed with every time I watch it, I see more layers. It's not quite the same sort of intellectual stimulation as House is with all its mysteries, but it's not exactly lacking in that either, and it has emotional drama that sometimes I think is a bit absent in House.
There are some things that I think the writers of Grey's do really well, and one thing I noticed immediately is that every character is likable, even the ones you hate at first. Alex (my personal favorite of the dudes) is an ass in season 1 (didn't really like him at all then), but you very quickly get to see the other sides of him. I love him and Izzie together. Another example, probably the most obvious, is Addison. You want to hate her, because she comes in takes Derek away from Meredith, but even in the very next episode when they work together and Addison defends Meredith, well that's big, and the more she becomes a regular character, the more you sympathize with her and like her. And she's one of the wittiest. I think the same is true with Mark. He sort of comes in as a sort of bad guy, the manwhore, the guy who Addison cheated on Derek with, the guy who totally harasses interns, but before long, you see other sides of him too. And then the same is true of Lexie, Hahn, Rose, Sadie. What I'm saying is, every single character is complex, with different sides and ultimately in some way, very likable, and not in a love to hate way, but in a really likable human way. That's sort of unique in TV.
I feel a little ridiculous, but I so love this show, love the character development. And, like with all shows I like (though I do have to say that I think character development, speaking for the cast as a whole and not just main character, is much better in The Office and Grey's than in House) I get very curious about the writing, like how do they do it? Each character's story slowly builds, and they intertwine in these amazing ways. It just intrigues me as a writer, b/c it boggles my mind a little, how much it seems everything comes together seamlessly to create this great and complex story, how some things build and build and build for episodes, and just how it all comes together. I love listening to the commentaries too because it gives me even more insight, and intricacies and layers I might not have noticed.
I also LOVE that the episodes are named after songs, and I think that's pretty much without exception (there's some question about "The Self-Destruct Button" but still). I didn't think they all were, I was like, there's no way there's actually a song called "The Deterioration of the Flight or Fight Response" but there is, by Flaming Lips. I am just waiting for an episode to be named after a TOOL song, that'll be the day. I think it's possible. My world will be complete. Tori, Fiona, Soundgarden, Jeff Buckley and some others would be cool to see as episode titles too, but one named after a Tool song would just rock my world.
Well, not really, but if everything goes as swimmingly this year as my astrology suggests, and I'm swimming in unexpected fortunes and soulmates and financial windfalls and being showered with luck (obviously exaggerating here) that would just be the icing on a great 2009, lol.
Currently Reading:
"Musicophilia" - Oliver Sachs - this book is great. I mean how could I not love it, when it's about music, and about really obscure medical (mostly brain) stuff? Music and seizures, musical hallucinations, music's affect on all kinds of disorders. Ahhhh I love it.
Currently Listening:
"Cannonball" - Damien Rice - an old favorite. I have a strange relationship with this song. I love it, yet there was always a bugging quality about it, it just felt too catchy and generic, in music and lyrics and that always bothered me, but then the last time he gets to the chorus, he changes up the words, so among these lines like "Life taught me to die/Love taught me to lie..." which just doesn't have a real spark to it, he almost yells, "Come on courage, teach me to be shy," and that kinda stops me, like, what exactly does that mean? I like it, it's unusual, and he sings it with more feeling. So for me, that line makes the song.
And the thing is, I feel it. I definitely feel the energy shift. I mean I sort of do feel shot out of a cannon. I was totally in the dumps all through December, and worse after Xmas, but then in the week leading up to New Year's, something just changed, and I'm not going to question it one bit. I'm all about riding the wave.
So, as for India, I got my ass in gear about that, and I'm definitely going. It's so funny how once I started, everything sort of fell into place. I have my plane ticket. I finished all my vaccinations yesterday, which I'm still in some pretty serious burning and intense muscle pain from, fuck. I got permission to be gone from my apartment for longer than my lease allows, so I'm squared away there. I got someone to check in on my place and take care of my mail while I'm gone. I found out I could set up automatic bill pay to take care of most of my recurring financial concerns. I sent off my India Visa application today. Not to jinx anything, but a lot of loose ends that just two weeks ago seemed enormously overwhelming and impossible, are, well, pretty close to taken care of.
And as for college, I'm kicking even more ass on that front. I don't know if it was that last post (which I did take down, for my own reasons) or what, but I decided it was worth honoring the fact that I have real concerns about whether I'll like living in Bellingham. I can't shake the feeling that it's just too similar to where I live now, and Orcas is a place that I have loved, that my life wouldn't be the same without, a place that has been very close to my heart, in some ways more than any other place I've lived, but I've stayed too long and it's at the point where I feel so claustrophobic and caged living here that it's hard to remember that I have loved this place. And for whatever reason, Bellingham just doesn't feel different enough - it's a pretty small town, and I have this feeling that I might still feel a bit caged and cut off there too. And I don't really know how to put this into words, b/c I honestly do like Bellingham, but it doesn't feel all that alive to me, or that diverse, and I'm afraid I won't find people to hang with, that I'll be real lonely. A friend who went to school there as an older student (she was 24 I think, so older than a lot of undergrads but still younger than I am) said she had a hard time with that. I have this feeling like I'd drown in bluegrass music while craving rock. I could be totally off-base with this feeling, and it could stem from being so past done with living on Orcas (and hearing so many people say how comparable the two places are), but I do feel it's at least worth honoring that feeling enough to explore other options.
I still love Fairhaven and their program, all the classes they offer, the alternative, interdisciplinary structure, the exchanges they have with other schools, and something called the Adventure Learning Grant, which is another awesome study abroad opportunity. I get excited reading the course descriptions, so it's still on the table big-time. I'm also hoping to visit Bellingham again, sometime this month, to get more of a feel for it. I've been there a few times, but it's usually been pretty brief, and another visit couldn't hurt.
I just feel so much better that I've decided to consider other options. I had the best freaking time last year when I visited Emerson, and so I decided to go ahead and apply there, as well as another school in Boston. The cool thing is that they are part of the same consortium exchange thing, where students at one can take classes at the other, which makes me feel better, because there are things I like about both, and it widens the possibilities for classes to take.
Another place I'm looking at is Portland. I've loved that place every time I've been there, and of all the places I'm considering, I've visited there the most, which actually isn't saying all that much. And lately I keep hearing what an awesome literary scene they've got going on there. To me it feels vibrant and alive. They've got some great schools that are totally up on the interdisciplinary studies deal like Fairhaven is, and have some really strong writing programs to boot. I can't even count how many times I hear that Bellingham is Portland-lite, similar in some ways, but lacking in others, and without the same sort of diversity and vibrance, and it's like, why go lite without at least considering the real deal? So I'm looking into two schools there.
And then there's Olympia, which is also on the smaller side, but I figure it's good to have another in-state WA choice in mind, and Evergreen has got to be one of the most interdisciplinary schools out there. I visited once, almost five years ago, and it was pretty cool. I like that they really have a holistic approach to any subject, and they have some programs that look awesome, and one includes a trip to Egypt, which of course caught my eye. I also read that the whole school is completely energy-efficient, which is way cool.
All in all, I'm considering six schools, and let me just say, just the idea of considering more places than just Fairhaven has me feeling tremendously better. I thought that being set on Fairhaven was good for peace of mind, in the way that it left no uncertainty, it was settled, but I think that that settling wasn't quite honest with myself. I could easily end up choosing that school, and I could just as easily choose somewhere else. The point is, it's like a huge gust of fresh air to my spirit, the fact that it's more open now. In the end it'll come down to where I get accepted, what my financial aid packages look like, scholarships, where my credits transfer, and where each college ranks on my own personal preference list (which is TBD as of now, pending more visits to the ones I can visit before I leave).
In the last week, I've rocked my applications to all six - the apps are all in, the transcripts and recommendations are requested, forms are faxed, and many essays are written. I just have one supplemental essay left to write. One school also required a graded paper, and the coolest thing is, I checked with admissions, and I get to use a writing piece that was workshopped at the Orcas Island Writers Festival! I figured it would count, because the workshop leader who evaluated it (they wanted a paper with instructor's comments on it) usually teaches grad students, and that just had to count for something, and it did. I'm psyched, because I think it's a good piece, and the comments on there are great and extremely thorough, with a balance of praise and suggestions for improvement.
For some of this stuff, I've had to dig through the bowels of my memory to contact former teachers and advisors. In one case there was someone I had to find, and I could only remember the first name (I mean, it's been like, nine years here), and they didn't even work at the school I used to go to anymore, so, google has been my friend in finding old profs and the like to fill out forms. It was kind of cool, searching that stuff out. I found that one of my favorite professors, who I had in my first semester of college for intro astronomy, is getting all these grants for really cool studies (that honestly I don't entirely understand exactly what these studies are). It's just cool because that was one of the best classes I ever took, it really got me excited about learning, and that's the best feeling (and can be rare sometimes) to have in school, so it was just nice to see successes for that prof.
So yes, I am kicking ass on these applications. By Sunday I should be done with that one last essay (if not tomorrow), and then I move on to doing everything I can to apply for scholarships, and then financial aid. It's a LOT to get done in a short amount of time. I've sort of thought of the fact that I don't have New Year's resolutions, but very ambitious January goals. If all goes as planned, I'll be leaving Orcas on Feb 2nd. I'm trying to set myself a schedule in the meantime, since I'm currently unemployed, to work at this stuff 8 hours a day, more or less, because there's so much and so little time, but I think I'm doing pretty well so far.
And then I get to unwind with Grey's, which I think I become more obsessed with every time I watch it, I see more layers. It's not quite the same sort of intellectual stimulation as House is with all its mysteries, but it's not exactly lacking in that either, and it has emotional drama that sometimes I think is a bit absent in House.
There are some things that I think the writers of Grey's do really well, and one thing I noticed immediately is that every character is likable, even the ones you hate at first. Alex (my personal favorite of the dudes) is an ass in season 1 (didn't really like him at all then), but you very quickly get to see the other sides of him. I love him and Izzie together. Another example, probably the most obvious, is Addison. You want to hate her, because she comes in takes Derek away from Meredith, but even in the very next episode when they work together and Addison defends Meredith, well that's big, and the more she becomes a regular character, the more you sympathize with her and like her. And she's one of the wittiest. I think the same is true with Mark. He sort of comes in as a sort of bad guy, the manwhore, the guy who Addison cheated on Derek with, the guy who totally harasses interns, but before long, you see other sides of him too. And then the same is true of Lexie, Hahn, Rose, Sadie. What I'm saying is, every single character is complex, with different sides and ultimately in some way, very likable, and not in a love to hate way, but in a really likable human way. That's sort of unique in TV.
I feel a little ridiculous, but I so love this show, love the character development. And, like with all shows I like (though I do have to say that I think character development, speaking for the cast as a whole and not just main character, is much better in The Office and Grey's than in House) I get very curious about the writing, like how do they do it? Each character's story slowly builds, and they intertwine in these amazing ways. It just intrigues me as a writer, b/c it boggles my mind a little, how much it seems everything comes together seamlessly to create this great and complex story, how some things build and build and build for episodes, and just how it all comes together. I love listening to the commentaries too because it gives me even more insight, and intricacies and layers I might not have noticed.
I also LOVE that the episodes are named after songs, and I think that's pretty much without exception (there's some question about "The Self-Destruct Button" but still). I didn't think they all were, I was like, there's no way there's actually a song called "The Deterioration of the Flight or Fight Response" but there is, by Flaming Lips. I am just waiting for an episode to be named after a TOOL song, that'll be the day. I think it's possible. My world will be complete. Tori, Fiona, Soundgarden, Jeff Buckley and some others would be cool to see as episode titles too, but one named after a Tool song would just rock my world.
Well, not really, but if everything goes as swimmingly this year as my astrology suggests, and I'm swimming in unexpected fortunes and soulmates and financial windfalls and being showered with luck (obviously exaggerating here) that would just be the icing on a great 2009, lol.
Currently Reading:
"Musicophilia" - Oliver Sachs - this book is great. I mean how could I not love it, when it's about music, and about really obscure medical (mostly brain) stuff? Music and seizures, musical hallucinations, music's affect on all kinds of disorders. Ahhhh I love it.
Currently Listening:
"Cannonball" - Damien Rice - an old favorite. I have a strange relationship with this song. I love it, yet there was always a bugging quality about it, it just felt too catchy and generic, in music and lyrics and that always bothered me, but then the last time he gets to the chorus, he changes up the words, so among these lines like "Life taught me to die/Love taught me to lie..." which just doesn't have a real spark to it, he almost yells, "Come on courage, teach me to be shy," and that kinda stops me, like, what exactly does that mean? I like it, it's unusual, and he sings it with more feeling. So for me, that line makes the song.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I Am Going a Little Crazy
Slowly, but surely.
So, it's Christmas Eve and I'm awake and wired and have absolutely nothing to do.
It's been snowing like crazy for the last week and a half. When it started I was in Seattle at a Christmas party with friends, and the next morning we couldn't get through the road. The next day I came back to Orcas and had a semi (but not terribly exciting)-adventure returning. And then it snowed and snowed and snowed some more. It's the most snow I've seen in the northwest, and it's my sixth winter here. It's wild, and awesome.
I'm loving it. It makes me want to go make snow angels and snowmen and build forts and have wild snowball fights. The roads are a mess, I mean solid ice covered in inches of snow. Walking anywhere that's not a trodden path or shoveled walkway is deliriously fun, I sink in halfway up to my knees. I saw a drift the other day that's practically as tall as me. On a street corner, a bunch of kids made this snowman that is taller than me, with an orange traffic cone for a hat (though the snowman itself was taller than me, even w/o the hat). I wish I had a camera because I'd take zillions of pictures to immortalize this winter weather. Last year we got almost none and I was let down by that fact. So yeah, I'm loving it. It's been massively windy too, so sometimes I just stare out the sliding glass door to my little back porch and watched the snow blow around in these huge gusts. The shocking thing is that unlike other years, I haven't lost power, though I know those that have. I wouldn't mind it, briefly. I love storms, love them.
The only downside is, I have cabin fever like you wouldn't believe. Town seems pretty shut down, and the winter weather keeps on coming, which again, I'm all for, but I'm also a little bored. More than a little. I think I now know how my dog felt. The last few months I had her, the weather was awful and I was working a lot so I wasn't taking her out as much, and I could sense this feeling of frustration from her, like she wanted to go run eighteen thousand miles and instead she was cooped up in my apartment while I worked. Now I sort of feel the same way, a little shut in with all this delirious winter happy energy and nothing to do with it. Town seems totally dead. A lot of my friends have left the island over the last few months, and my friend Becky, who was the one person I was hanging out with during all these snowstorms, just left yesterday morning to visit family for the holidays. And my friend Elynn who I spent a lot of last winter hanging out with is living on the other side of the island now, and like I said, the roads are total shit. I won't be able to get to the Christmas concert that is a tradition on Orcas, given by Susan Osborn, who is such an amazing singer. It was a magical experience last year, but it is on the other side of the island as well. My phone keeps dying because I'm spending so much time talking, to connect, to kill time. I hope my ears don't fall off, lol. Even the mail is getting fucked up and delayed. I'm going a little crazy. I check my mail (which is by PO box, so I actually have to walk to the PO) twice a day, just for something to do, and an excuse to get budndled up and tromp through the drifts.
I finished watching Grey's and I'm resisting starting to watch it again from the beginning, because I ordered the DVDs and I don't want any chance of being sick of it by the time they arrive. Although there are some scenes I must've replayed a million times. Which is odd for me, I never even did that with House, not even the House/Cuddy makeout scene. I found a Grey's board game online, and I'm such a dork that I actually really want it, even though I don't know who I'd play it with, oh and I'm leaving for a third world country in less than two months, but still.
And I'm too hyper and stir crazy to read or write, I just can't sit still like that. It's been a difficult holiday season for reasons I will not go into in a public blog, but shit, it's been a tough one. Which surprised me, because last year was such a great holiday season for me, I was so into it, baking cookies, even listening to Xmas music and all that crap. I'm pretty sure I posted about that. It rocked. This year, I might as well be a female scrooge. It's not really that bad, but it is bad. At least I do have somewhere to go tomorrow, so the loneliness won't eat me alive or I won't kill myself out of boredom. But yeah, I can't seem to sit still. I haven't even sat still while writing this blog.
And the worst part is, now it's raining. It was snowing earlier, and I say, bring it on, but now it's raining, and I'm going to have to have a word with mother nature if all the snow melts so soon. Because that's at least giving me something to smile about. It complicates things, as bitched about above, but it also so rare here, and I don't want it to fade too quickly, even if it's making me stir crazy. I am a complicated woman.
Unfortunately I don't have a camera, but my computer does, so here is the view out my door:
Well, I think I'll go kill time by cleaning my kitchen, which is exactly every single girl in their late twenties dreams of spending Christmas Eve, lol.
Currently Listening:
"Criminal" - Fiona Apple - I've been on yet another Fiona Apple kick lately. In fact I just recently found these two songs that are "supposedly" by her, "Ugly Girl" and "If We Kissed." The lyric sites I've looked do attribute both to Miss Apple, but they just don't sound like her, especially "Ugly Girl" which I must say, I don't really like at all. Still trying to find out for sure if they are her. Anyway, Criminal, great song, I always sing this at Karaoke when I get the balls to sing, which hasn't happened in quite some time. I would love to sing Never Is a Promise instead, which they have at the local karaoke deal, but I don't think I could pull it off, so Criminal it is. It's deliciously fun to get up there and sing that first line, "I've been a bad, bad girl," LOL. And I totally relate to, "I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep living this day like the next will never come." And I love, "What would an angel say, the devil wants to know..." I will leave you all with that thought.
So, it's Christmas Eve and I'm awake and wired and have absolutely nothing to do.
It's been snowing like crazy for the last week and a half. When it started I was in Seattle at a Christmas party with friends, and the next morning we couldn't get through the road. The next day I came back to Orcas and had a semi (but not terribly exciting)-adventure returning. And then it snowed and snowed and snowed some more. It's the most snow I've seen in the northwest, and it's my sixth winter here. It's wild, and awesome.
I'm loving it. It makes me want to go make snow angels and snowmen and build forts and have wild snowball fights. The roads are a mess, I mean solid ice covered in inches of snow. Walking anywhere that's not a trodden path or shoveled walkway is deliriously fun, I sink in halfway up to my knees. I saw a drift the other day that's practically as tall as me. On a street corner, a bunch of kids made this snowman that is taller than me, with an orange traffic cone for a hat (though the snowman itself was taller than me, even w/o the hat). I wish I had a camera because I'd take zillions of pictures to immortalize this winter weather. Last year we got almost none and I was let down by that fact. So yeah, I'm loving it. It's been massively windy too, so sometimes I just stare out the sliding glass door to my little back porch and watched the snow blow around in these huge gusts. The shocking thing is that unlike other years, I haven't lost power, though I know those that have. I wouldn't mind it, briefly. I love storms, love them.
The only downside is, I have cabin fever like you wouldn't believe. Town seems pretty shut down, and the winter weather keeps on coming, which again, I'm all for, but I'm also a little bored. More than a little. I think I now know how my dog felt. The last few months I had her, the weather was awful and I was working a lot so I wasn't taking her out as much, and I could sense this feeling of frustration from her, like she wanted to go run eighteen thousand miles and instead she was cooped up in my apartment while I worked. Now I sort of feel the same way, a little shut in with all this delirious winter happy energy and nothing to do with it. Town seems totally dead. A lot of my friends have left the island over the last few months, and my friend Becky, who was the one person I was hanging out with during all these snowstorms, just left yesterday morning to visit family for the holidays. And my friend Elynn who I spent a lot of last winter hanging out with is living on the other side of the island now, and like I said, the roads are total shit. I won't be able to get to the Christmas concert that is a tradition on Orcas, given by Susan Osborn, who is such an amazing singer. It was a magical experience last year, but it is on the other side of the island as well. My phone keeps dying because I'm spending so much time talking, to connect, to kill time. I hope my ears don't fall off, lol. Even the mail is getting fucked up and delayed. I'm going a little crazy. I check my mail (which is by PO box, so I actually have to walk to the PO) twice a day, just for something to do, and an excuse to get budndled up and tromp through the drifts.
I finished watching Grey's and I'm resisting starting to watch it again from the beginning, because I ordered the DVDs and I don't want any chance of being sick of it by the time they arrive. Although there are some scenes I must've replayed a million times. Which is odd for me, I never even did that with House, not even the House/Cuddy makeout scene. I found a Grey's board game online, and I'm such a dork that I actually really want it, even though I don't know who I'd play it with, oh and I'm leaving for a third world country in less than two months, but still.
And I'm too hyper and stir crazy to read or write, I just can't sit still like that. It's been a difficult holiday season for reasons I will not go into in a public blog, but shit, it's been a tough one. Which surprised me, because last year was such a great holiday season for me, I was so into it, baking cookies, even listening to Xmas music and all that crap. I'm pretty sure I posted about that. It rocked. This year, I might as well be a female scrooge. It's not really that bad, but it is bad. At least I do have somewhere to go tomorrow, so the loneliness won't eat me alive or I won't kill myself out of boredom. But yeah, I can't seem to sit still. I haven't even sat still while writing this blog.
And the worst part is, now it's raining. It was snowing earlier, and I say, bring it on, but now it's raining, and I'm going to have to have a word with mother nature if all the snow melts so soon. Because that's at least giving me something to smile about. It complicates things, as bitched about above, but it also so rare here, and I don't want it to fade too quickly, even if it's making me stir crazy. I am a complicated woman.
Unfortunately I don't have a camera, but my computer does, so here is the view out my door:
Well, I think I'll go kill time by cleaning my kitchen, which is exactly every single girl in their late twenties dreams of spending Christmas Eve, lol.
Currently Listening:
"Criminal" - Fiona Apple - I've been on yet another Fiona Apple kick lately. In fact I just recently found these two songs that are "supposedly" by her, "Ugly Girl" and "If We Kissed." The lyric sites I've looked do attribute both to Miss Apple, but they just don't sound like her, especially "Ugly Girl" which I must say, I don't really like at all. Still trying to find out for sure if they are her. Anyway, Criminal, great song, I always sing this at Karaoke when I get the balls to sing, which hasn't happened in quite some time. I would love to sing Never Is a Promise instead, which they have at the local karaoke deal, but I don't think I could pull it off, so Criminal it is. It's deliciously fun to get up there and sing that first line, "I've been a bad, bad girl," LOL. And I totally relate to, "I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep living this day like the next will never come." And I love, "What would an angel say, the devil wants to know..." I will leave you all with that thought.
Monday, December 22, 2008
House, Music and Coincidence
Three things I love very much.
So, I wouldn't exactly say that I believe in magical musical synchronicity, because t he skeptic in me doesn't believe in much of anything, but I sort of do. Sometimes I go through phases where I can predict what song will come on next, among tons of possibilities. Sometimes the perfect song comes on, for example, if I'm writing to someone or about to call them, and then somehow the one song that really makes me think of them comes up, (and just for a reference point, I have over 11,000 songs on iTunes). Or sometimes I'll be thinking about a song and it comes on. Or a song that just magically fits the situation. What I'm saying is, I don't know how it happens, maybe it's some sort of mind over matter thing, maybe it's completely random and I assign it meaning, but I do sort of believe in something there.
But I'm getting a little off track (though I must say that one of the songs I'm planning to write about in this post just came on), what I wanted to write about was music, House and coincidence intersecting. Oh and dreams, I've been dreaming partly in songs this past week.
I think I've clearly established the fact in this blog that I've seen every episode of House several times. So it shouldn't have come to a big surprise when last March, when I was at the writing residency (which just totally rocked my world), I came downstairs and a song was playing that I knew I knew, but couldn't place. As it played on, I suddenly realized, "Oh, that song's on an episode of House!" It was that song "Colors" that I included in my last post, by Amos Lee. That was the first time I ever heard a song from the show in the real world. It was pretty cool. I really love that song.
About two months after that, I was working at camp on Mother's Day Weekend, and who shows up as a guest at Camp but Dave Matthews and his family. I never met him (and honestly, didn't particularly care to). I'm not a big fan, but I do really love this one Dave Matthews song at the end of the House episode "Love Hurts." The song is called "Some Devil," and has this great line, "You said always and forever is such a long and lonely time." I don't know what it says about me that I'm drawn to that, but whatevs, I dig it. Anyway, so that whole weekend I couldn't get that song out of my head. Then one of my co-workers said that DM was in an episode of House. I'm not good at celebrity recognition (and really didn't even know what DM looked like), so I wasn't aware, and my friend went to go look it up, and came back and said, "His name on the show was Patrick--" I interrupted b/c I instantly knew what episode he was talking about, "Half-Wit," where the patient Patrick, is a guy who got in a bus accident at an early age, and was left mentally retarded but a musical savant. So then we joked around (we'd all been joking around about our celebrity guest all weekend), about going up to him and being like, "Hey, aren't you the guy who played a retarded guy on that show House?" and then these guys I work with were joking that they'd follow that up with, "Oh and weren't you in that band, Hootie and the Blowfish or something?" because we always used to listen to this 90s rock station on satellite radio and they'd always ask with any pop-ish song that came on (including DMB and other bands) if it was Hootie. We were sort of joiking about that, about pretending not to know who he was because DM was all anyone on staff was talking about all weekend. There was a lot of gushing, and we were too cool for that, of course, lol.
So, fast forward a few months to this past summer. I always listened to Democracy Now! on my iPod on my long walk to work, and I always paid attention to the music played during the breaks, because I always pat attention to music. A few times I heard songs by Rage Against the Machine, one time I heard Soundgarden's Hands All Over during a broadcast on global warming. One day I heard a song that I ikmmediately recognized as being from House, from the episode "Family," which I later looked up to find the name and artist, Brett Dennen's "Ain't No Reason." It totally excited me to have House and Democracy Now! coinciding somehow. For whatever reason that song, and a few others from the last half of Season 3 (like Josh Ritter's "Good Man") have always really stood out for me.
The next day or so, turning the corner from my road to head to work, again listening to Democracy Now! I heard a song I recognized, but couldn't tell from where. I just knew I'd heard it before, but when the break was over, Amy Goodman only announced the name of the song, "Time to Pretend," and never the artist. I didn't think much of it. Then the next day, still crazed over the song "Electric Feel" by MGMT, I decided to listen to the rest of the album. I put it on and went to the other room to straighten up my apartment, and as the first song played, I was like, "OMG, that's the song!" and I went and looked at my iTunes screen and it was indeed "Time to Pretend." I was just like, whoa. It's funny when the same songs keep cropping up. And I can't go anywhere or do anything without paying attention to what music is playing, whether I want to or not.
Then, a little over a month ago, some friends visited from NJ, and we went out to this pretty nice restaurant on the island during their last night here. Music was playing quietly in the background, to the point where I had to almost strain to hear it, but even in those cases, my attention is always drawn. A song came on that again I vaguely recognized but couldn't place. I was sort of singing along, I knew the words, I just couldn't place it. And then it hit me that this song, too, was from House. After coming home and doing some research I found it was "In the Waiting Line" by Zero 7. The wildest part was, I already had the song on my computer and didn't notice it. A friend gave me his whole music collection and it's so massive that months later, I still haven't listened to all of it, so that was a nice surprise.
By this point, I could pretty much sing along to any song from any episode, b/c I'd seen them all so many times, and I was starting to feel a real fondness for the music on the show.
After that was when I gave in to the obsession and started collecting the soundtracks from the various seasons of House. I found that the Zero 7 song wasn't the only one I already had. I also had a song by Gomez, and "Feel Good Inc" by Gorillaz, which plays during one of the very few scenes where House is running.
Just when my TV watching habit couldn't get any worse, I suddenly got into watching Grey's Anatomy. I had a lot of resistance to that show. A girl's not exactly apt to love a show that the guy she once lived with used to drool over and referred to as his "slutty hospital show." But because he had liked it so much, I had seen a lot of episodes (albeit oozing with jealousy all the while) and then last winter, some of my girl friends would come over and we'd watch it on Thursdays, but not enough to really keep up with the storylines fully.
So for whatever reason, I started watching all the old episodes on my computer. I think it's partly that I've exhausted House and I needed something medical to watch. When I had TV, I used to watch all these mystery diagnosis shows on the Discovery Health Channel, which were great. Sometimes, because of my prolific House-watching, I could solve the mysteries before the answer was revealed, or knew what specific diseases and their treatments were before it was discussed. So I had to fill that void, and started watching Grey's Anatomy, and LOVING IT way more than I thought I would. I'm a little obsessed. It's different than other shows I follow, namely House and The Office, because they're so witty and super intelligently clever, whereas Grey's is more emotional, but OMG I love it so much. And especially Dr. Alex Karev.
And the point is, of course I pay attention to the music there too. I've noticed some cross pollination between Grey's and House (and have recognized at least two people who appear in both shows - there's a woman who plays a freaked-out mom in an early episode of House who plays a woman who's dying of cancer who won't stop eating cake on Grey's, and a patient in the House episode "Fools for Love" plays Meredith and Derek's last clinical trial patient on Grey's. Damien Rice is in both show, twice in each. And Brett Dennen has songs in a few Grey's episodes. I also noticed in Grey's that during the first season, the makers of that sh ow must've been obsessed with Tegan & Sara - practically every song from So Jealous is on that first season, including my two favorites, "Fix You Up" and "Where Does the Good Go" and even in the first episode of Season 3, "Time Has Come Today," the one where Izzie is laying on the bathroom floor, there's a bunch of flashbacks, and a few of the flashbakcs are to a "mixer" that happened just before the first episode, and Tegan & Sara is playing in those flashbacks too! Weird.
But what really blew my mind was in the last episode I watched. I didn't watch the seasons in order, and actually got to season 2 last (a lot of which I had already seen, but it's amazing how much I didn't remember), and in the last episode of that season, what song comes on but "Colors" by Amos Lee! It came on during a "prom" they have at the hospital. It gave me chills. That's the only song that has actually been on both shows. It was a great way to end the viewing marathon with, it just seemed so synchronous, and so funny since that is the song I've been all hung up on, and included in my last post. It gave me chills when it came on.
So this is all obscure and kinda useless to anyone else, but it makes me happy, so I'm writing about it..
And here comes the dream part. A few nights ago, I had a dream that was very strange. It reminded me of the Orcas Island Writers Festival, there were all these tents set up with different workshops going on inside, and somehow Alex from Grey's was in this dream (and just for the record, I don't usually dream about fictional characters, but this time I did, and we were dating, and he had a baby daughter...???), and in one of the tents, the song "Hit the Ground" by Lizz Wright (which is a House song) was playing. What struck me was how clearly I heard the song in the dream, every word. That's unusual. It was really, really striking. Then last night I dreamt about Damien Rice's "Sleep, Don't Weep" which is not one of my favorite songs off of 9 Crimes, but is in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, in a three-parter that has to do with a ferry crash (I must say one of the things that draws me to the show is that it takes place in Seattle, and that they're always showing ferries, but I do NOT like the idea of them crashing being put into my head). Again, the song was very vividly in my dream. The rest of the dream was much stranger though, I mean just beyond bizarre, trying to escape some sort of haunted, evil house with a brother of some sort that seemed and looking nothing like my brother. Weird shit, I tell ya.
Again, this may be my strangest blog post. I realize no one is really oging to care about the intricacies of my favorite TV shows, but I don't care, it's all been in my head, some of it for months, and I need to get it out. So there.
Oh and I must say, about two weeks ago, I went to Seattle and saw my friend Eileen (also known as BlueShine), who's recently returned from Iraq, and we were just talking, shooting the shit, and she was telling me that there was one point when they couldn't really go anywhere, and she watched House for twelve hours. Oh, it warmed my heart and got me all excited to know she was into House too.
Anyway, I'm shutting up now.
Currently Listening:
"Hope for the Hopeless" - A Fine Frenzy - of course, a song from House, one I've been listening to a lot lately and lovin' it. I love this woman's voice. Here's the words:
Stitch, in your knitted brow
And you don't know how
You're going to get it out
Crushed, under heavy chest
Trying to catch your breath
But it always beats you by a step
All right now
Makin' the best of it
Playin' the hand you get
You're not alone in this
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope
Cold, in the summer breeze
Yet you're shivering
On your bended knee
Still, when your heart is sore
And the heavens pour
Like a willow bending with the storm
You'll make it
Runnin' against the wind
Playin' the cards you get
Something is bound to give
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope
There's hope
There's hope
There's hope
So, I wouldn't exactly say that I believe in magical musical synchronicity, because t he skeptic in me doesn't believe in much of anything, but I sort of do. Sometimes I go through phases where I can predict what song will come on next, among tons of possibilities. Sometimes the perfect song comes on, for example, if I'm writing to someone or about to call them, and then somehow the one song that really makes me think of them comes up, (and just for a reference point, I have over 11,000 songs on iTunes). Or sometimes I'll be thinking about a song and it comes on. Or a song that just magically fits the situation. What I'm saying is, I don't know how it happens, maybe it's some sort of mind over matter thing, maybe it's completely random and I assign it meaning, but I do sort of believe in something there.
But I'm getting a little off track (though I must say that one of the songs I'm planning to write about in this post just came on), what I wanted to write about was music, House and coincidence intersecting. Oh and dreams, I've been dreaming partly in songs this past week.
I think I've clearly established the fact in this blog that I've seen every episode of House several times. So it shouldn't have come to a big surprise when last March, when I was at the writing residency (which just totally rocked my world), I came downstairs and a song was playing that I knew I knew, but couldn't place. As it played on, I suddenly realized, "Oh, that song's on an episode of House!" It was that song "Colors" that I included in my last post, by Amos Lee. That was the first time I ever heard a song from the show in the real world. It was pretty cool. I really love that song.
About two months after that, I was working at camp on Mother's Day Weekend, and who shows up as a guest at Camp but Dave Matthews and his family. I never met him (and honestly, didn't particularly care to). I'm not a big fan, but I do really love this one Dave Matthews song at the end of the House episode "Love Hurts." The song is called "Some Devil," and has this great line, "You said always and forever is such a long and lonely time." I don't know what it says about me that I'm drawn to that, but whatevs, I dig it. Anyway, so that whole weekend I couldn't get that song out of my head. Then one of my co-workers said that DM was in an episode of House. I'm not good at celebrity recognition (and really didn't even know what DM looked like), so I wasn't aware, and my friend went to go look it up, and came back and said, "His name on the show was Patrick--" I interrupted b/c I instantly knew what episode he was talking about, "Half-Wit," where the patient Patrick, is a guy who got in a bus accident at an early age, and was left mentally retarded but a musical savant. So then we joked around (we'd all been joking around about our celebrity guest all weekend), about going up to him and being like, "Hey, aren't you the guy who played a retarded guy on that show House?" and then these guys I work with were joking that they'd follow that up with, "Oh and weren't you in that band, Hootie and the Blowfish or something?" because we always used to listen to this 90s rock station on satellite radio and they'd always ask with any pop-ish song that came on (including DMB and other bands) if it was Hootie. We were sort of joiking about that, about pretending not to know who he was because DM was all anyone on staff was talking about all weekend. There was a lot of gushing, and we were too cool for that, of course, lol.
So, fast forward a few months to this past summer. I always listened to Democracy Now! on my iPod on my long walk to work, and I always paid attention to the music played during the breaks, because I always pat attention to music. A few times I heard songs by Rage Against the Machine, one time I heard Soundgarden's Hands All Over during a broadcast on global warming. One day I heard a song that I ikmmediately recognized as being from House, from the episode "Family," which I later looked up to find the name and artist, Brett Dennen's "Ain't No Reason." It totally excited me to have House and Democracy Now! coinciding somehow. For whatever reason that song, and a few others from the last half of Season 3 (like Josh Ritter's "Good Man") have always really stood out for me.
The next day or so, turning the corner from my road to head to work, again listening to Democracy Now! I heard a song I recognized, but couldn't tell from where. I just knew I'd heard it before, but when the break was over, Amy Goodman only announced the name of the song, "Time to Pretend," and never the artist. I didn't think much of it. Then the next day, still crazed over the song "Electric Feel" by MGMT, I decided to listen to the rest of the album. I put it on and went to the other room to straighten up my apartment, and as the first song played, I was like, "OMG, that's the song!" and I went and looked at my iTunes screen and it was indeed "Time to Pretend." I was just like, whoa. It's funny when the same songs keep cropping up. And I can't go anywhere or do anything without paying attention to what music is playing, whether I want to or not.
Then, a little over a month ago, some friends visited from NJ, and we went out to this pretty nice restaurant on the island during their last night here. Music was playing quietly in the background, to the point where I had to almost strain to hear it, but even in those cases, my attention is always drawn. A song came on that again I vaguely recognized but couldn't place. I was sort of singing along, I knew the words, I just couldn't place it. And then it hit me that this song, too, was from House. After coming home and doing some research I found it was "In the Waiting Line" by Zero 7. The wildest part was, I already had the song on my computer and didn't notice it. A friend gave me his whole music collection and it's so massive that months later, I still haven't listened to all of it, so that was a nice surprise.
By this point, I could pretty much sing along to any song from any episode, b/c I'd seen them all so many times, and I was starting to feel a real fondness for the music on the show.
After that was when I gave in to the obsession and started collecting the soundtracks from the various seasons of House. I found that the Zero 7 song wasn't the only one I already had. I also had a song by Gomez, and "Feel Good Inc" by Gorillaz, which plays during one of the very few scenes where House is running.
Just when my TV watching habit couldn't get any worse, I suddenly got into watching Grey's Anatomy. I had a lot of resistance to that show. A girl's not exactly apt to love a show that the guy she once lived with used to drool over and referred to as his "slutty hospital show." But because he had liked it so much, I had seen a lot of episodes (albeit oozing with jealousy all the while) and then last winter, some of my girl friends would come over and we'd watch it on Thursdays, but not enough to really keep up with the storylines fully.
So for whatever reason, I started watching all the old episodes on my computer. I think it's partly that I've exhausted House and I needed something medical to watch. When I had TV, I used to watch all these mystery diagnosis shows on the Discovery Health Channel, which were great. Sometimes, because of my prolific House-watching, I could solve the mysteries before the answer was revealed, or knew what specific diseases and their treatments were before it was discussed. So I had to fill that void, and started watching Grey's Anatomy, and LOVING IT way more than I thought I would. I'm a little obsessed. It's different than other shows I follow, namely House and The Office, because they're so witty and super intelligently clever, whereas Grey's is more emotional, but OMG I love it so much. And especially Dr. Alex Karev.
And the point is, of course I pay attention to the music there too. I've noticed some cross pollination between Grey's and House (and have recognized at least two people who appear in both shows - there's a woman who plays a freaked-out mom in an early episode of House who plays a woman who's dying of cancer who won't stop eating cake on Grey's, and a patient in the House episode "Fools for Love" plays Meredith and Derek's last clinical trial patient on Grey's. Damien Rice is in both show, twice in each. And Brett Dennen has songs in a few Grey's episodes. I also noticed in Grey's that during the first season, the makers of that sh ow must've been obsessed with Tegan & Sara - practically every song from So Jealous is on that first season, including my two favorites, "Fix You Up" and "Where Does the Good Go" and even in the first episode of Season 3, "Time Has Come Today," the one where Izzie is laying on the bathroom floor, there's a bunch of flashbacks, and a few of the flashbakcs are to a "mixer" that happened just before the first episode, and Tegan & Sara is playing in those flashbacks too! Weird.
But what really blew my mind was in the last episode I watched. I didn't watch the seasons in order, and actually got to season 2 last (a lot of which I had already seen, but it's amazing how much I didn't remember), and in the last episode of that season, what song comes on but "Colors" by Amos Lee! It came on during a "prom" they have at the hospital. It gave me chills. That's the only song that has actually been on both shows. It was a great way to end the viewing marathon with, it just seemed so synchronous, and so funny since that is the song I've been all hung up on, and included in my last post. It gave me chills when it came on.
So this is all obscure and kinda useless to anyone else, but it makes me happy, so I'm writing about it..
And here comes the dream part. A few nights ago, I had a dream that was very strange. It reminded me of the Orcas Island Writers Festival, there were all these tents set up with different workshops going on inside, and somehow Alex from Grey's was in this dream (and just for the record, I don't usually dream about fictional characters, but this time I did, and we were dating, and he had a baby daughter...???), and in one of the tents, the song "Hit the Ground" by Lizz Wright (which is a House song) was playing. What struck me was how clearly I heard the song in the dream, every word. That's unusual. It was really, really striking. Then last night I dreamt about Damien Rice's "Sleep, Don't Weep" which is not one of my favorite songs off of 9 Crimes, but is in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, in a three-parter that has to do with a ferry crash (I must say one of the things that draws me to the show is that it takes place in Seattle, and that they're always showing ferries, but I do NOT like the idea of them crashing being put into my head). Again, the song was very vividly in my dream. The rest of the dream was much stranger though, I mean just beyond bizarre, trying to escape some sort of haunted, evil house with a brother of some sort that seemed and looking nothing like my brother. Weird shit, I tell ya.
Again, this may be my strangest blog post. I realize no one is really oging to care about the intricacies of my favorite TV shows, but I don't care, it's all been in my head, some of it for months, and I need to get it out. So there.
Oh and I must say, about two weeks ago, I went to Seattle and saw my friend Eileen (also known as BlueShine), who's recently returned from Iraq, and we were just talking, shooting the shit, and she was telling me that there was one point when they couldn't really go anywhere, and she watched House for twelve hours. Oh, it warmed my heart and got me all excited to know she was into House too.
Anyway, I'm shutting up now.
Currently Listening:
"Hope for the Hopeless" - A Fine Frenzy - of course, a song from House, one I've been listening to a lot lately and lovin' it. I love this woman's voice. Here's the words:
Stitch, in your knitted brow
And you don't know how
You're going to get it out
Crushed, under heavy chest
Trying to catch your breath
But it always beats you by a step
All right now
Makin' the best of it
Playin' the hand you get
You're not alone in this
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope
Cold, in the summer breeze
Yet you're shivering
On your bended knee
Still, when your heart is sore
And the heavens pour
Like a willow bending with the storm
You'll make it
Runnin' against the wind
Playin' the cards you get
Something is bound to give
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope
There's hope
There's hope
There's hope
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